Skip to main content

Who you're not

It's always so much easier to list what you're not or the negative then it is the positive. A good faith journey person asked me recently what do I want to do...ummm...silence. I had to sit and stew because all I could do was start the running list of what I don't want to do. Then that's followed by the list of things that I can do and be decent at but it's not what I'm passionate about. And then the brain stops at the thought about what I'd like to do...the good, happy, life giving stuff. So that makes me wonder and ask myself the questions of why don't I know what would make me happy and why don't I do what makes me happy? The first answer I can come up with is that being responsible doesn't always equal being happy. The fact is that I have bills and loans to pay. As much as I wish I didn't have to pay them, I do. I made choices in life to acquire these bills so now I have to pay them. So I do a job that helps me pay my bills but doesn't bring me joy or happiness but in fleeting moments.But that's roughly only 40 to 50 hours a week. About the rest of the 118 hours available to me in the week? Figure 6 to 8 hours of sleep a night (maybe) so that leaves around 70 hours to do what makes me happy and what I enjoy. I have moments when I do. I have glimspes of being able to be happy and at home within myself but it's not daily. It's not often enough to allow me to truly figure out what I enjoy and what brings me happiness. So my work continues to figure out who I am and to stop the focus on who I'm not.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Day in the Life: A Minister and Forgiveness

 I shared in one of my last blogs that I had complaints lodged against me by a small group in my congregation. Most seem to have moved on after our group meeting, where I apologized for a lot of things - probably more then I should have had too. But I'm the professional in those settings so I did it.  I'm not being told, second hand, that two of those in that meeting want a one on one apology from me because what I said in the meeting wasn't good enough. This is the couple who cursed in my church, have flat out lied about me and have repeatedly stated that the only outcome they're willing to accept is my termination.  Let me explain why I won't be having a one on one meeting with this couple and I won't be giving any more apologies. First, lets start with the apology part. I have apologized for my actions - maybe my misinterpretations is a better term. Based off of their actions and words, I communicated with the proper board/committee and asked for consensus ab...
Post a Comment
Read more

February 2025 Clergy Life Glimpses

February 2025 feels like it's been the longest year ever. The state of the US government is just scary and getting worse and worse by the hour. As a cis-gender, white, middle age, female I know I have more agency and power then many. I can't know what my siblings of God are feeling and dealing with during this time when their existence is literally being erased by the US government and they're being told they're flawed and have no rights to even exist. Although there are grassroot efforts to fight the orange one's executive orders, I fear we are following the Hitler playbook and there are not enough people on the right who will stand up against our president and his regime.  It has been hard to write an update on daily or even semi regular "days in the life of a pastor." Finding words that speak to as many as possible because I work in a purple congregation takes time and energy that I am running low on. And then on a more personal professional note: being...
Post a Comment
Read more