The World's Okayest Pastor

For new readers and those who don't know me, I'm fat. Medically labeled "morbidly obese." I have always been fat since I can remember. It's a multifaceted part of my reality: it's part my choice, part genetics. I am well aware that I need to work on this. I'm reminded every time I go to the doctor: need a flu shot - you're fat. Have an ear infection - you're fat. Cat bite - discharge instructions start with you're morbidly obese (I'm not kidding). You lost weight and still think something's off - loose more weight. I have been working on addressing my weight and have managed to loose and keep off just under 80 pounds. Do I still have a lot more weight to loose? Yup. I didn't become this size overnight and taking this off won't happen overnight either. A few weeks ago, a friend stopped by to visit me on their journey to vacation. As they were preparing to leave, I get stopped and asked to sit. I was told that they're concerne...

During the early part of the 2018 election cycle, one of my friends ran for an office. They had a results party at a gay bar in the closest big town. I have been to other events at this bar because it has hosted public events that match my call for social justice and public ministry. Afterwards, several people just assumed that because I knew this bar and was comfortable being there, that I identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I don’t. I identify as a cisgender, white female who is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. So at best I am a welcomed outsider but I am an outsider to this community. Once people got to know me better, folks started to apologize to me for labeling as part of the LGBTQ+ community.  My response was it wasn’t a big deal to me and I don’t really care that I was labeled as such. Some people accepted this but others seemed taken aback because I didn’t have a strong response of concern about being mis-labeled.  As I w...

I want to begin this post by saying that I greatly respect both the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts, their programming, their structures, their leadership, and goals and values. Those things are not up for debate to me, because I and my family have benefited from both systems. I’m a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts with 25 years in the organization,  both as a girl and now as an adult volunteer in multiple capacities across two councils. My twin brother was a Cub Scout and then a Boy Scout, my father helped in all levels from den meetings all the way up to pack meetings and trips, and both of my parents helped lead Explorer Scouts, now Venture Scouts.  Even as girls, my sister and I both participated in several Ventur Scout activities.  I have seen many changes in both organizations over the last 25+ years and believe both programs have a lot to offer.  This past week, the board of Boy Scouts of America voted to allow girls to join their program at all age levels, not...

As a pastor, folks feel the need to share things with me, whether they are appropriate or not. A common phrase I've heard off and on during my ministry, and it has gained a grand reprise now that I am the last of my siblings to be single, is "pastor, when are you going to get married?" My most "favorite" incarnation of this came when the church board was asking about my insurance coverage and it was suggested that I should get married to a guy who has a good plan I could join. Creative...maybe. Had that thought crossed my mind? Yes but I also never said that out loud and never planned on that being a solution. So if folks really want to know when I'm going to get married here is the long answer: I will get marred when I find the right person to marry. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am fat and an ordained minister. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am not here to be a challe...

With the election of 45 as the leader of the free world, there has been a resurgence of pro-life. With plans to reform the Affordable Care Act (ACA or more properly known as Obamacare) and the state of Iowa attempting to reform Medicaid, folks have been rallying to cut funding from healthcare providers that offer full women's health services, including abortions. Planned Parenthood has been the main target of these rallies, despite the fact that no federal or state funds can be used to pay for abortion services. But I digress from the point of this blog. There has been a call for folks to rally around being Pro-Life in the political sphere. What I find interesting and puzzling at the same time, is that the same people who insist that life starts at the moment of conception and all babies must be born, despite who they were created or if they're wanted also argue that we need to cut funding for social programs that include but are not limited too: Head Start, senior meal progr...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

It's that time of year where every weekend, as you go out, you will hear the phrase "would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Girl Scout cookie season, loved by those of us who need our yearly "fix" and yet it is also one of the most despised times of the year by some Christian groups who want to protest the sales of Girl Scout cookies. Here's are two reasons for protesting Girl Scout cookies: Girl Scouts, along with many other non profit organizations, receive grant money from the United Way. Planned Parenthood also happens to receive money from United Way. Because of the this, groups who are anti-abortion believe that by buying Girl Scout cookies, it is money going to support Planned Parenthood. Second arguement is that we have lost our "Christian way" and we need to come back to being more faith based. So as a lifetime member of Girl Scouts (I'm celebrating 25 years of girl and adult membership - gee I'm old now), active leade...

  The “war on Christmas” has begun. Or at least that’s what some Christians want us to think. Because  Starbucks , a company that has never claimed to be Christian, chose to have red cups without snowflakes, Santa or reindeer on them (just a reminder that none of those are Christian symbols), there is a "war on Christmas."   Once the “cup controversy” hit the news, old articles and videos came back about how using the abbreviation “Xmas” was anti Christmas and Christian. To address the "Xmas controversy," let’s learn a little Greek. X or “Chi” is the first Greek letter used in spelling “Christ” and is a common Christian symbol representing Jesus Christ. Therefore Xmas is Christian and appropriate for Christmas.   But regardless of what we choose to learn and teach about what’s Christian or not, I’d like to pose two bigger questions: why does the color of a coffee cup mean a person’s faith is being questioned and why do Christians feel that just because...

  This past week has been interesting to watch with the drama going on at the Rowan County courthouse in Kentucky. After SCOTUS' decision that bans on gay marrages were unconsitutional, Kim Davis, County Cleark - an elected offical, refused to issue any one a marriage license so not to discriminate because she believes that gay marriage is against her Christian beliefs.   After filing appeals and losing, Kim was sent to jail for contempt of court after still refusing to issue any marriage licenses. Couples could drive to a surrounding county courthouses to get a marriage license but a lawsuit was filed against Kim Davis and her office for refusing to comply with the law, orders from the govenor and the state attorney. Kim has spent several days in jail and she is still making the news, along with political candidates.   While I agree with Kim being sent to jail for failure to comply with the law and that she should either fulfill her duties she is paid to do by taxpayer...

This week's Vanity Fair cover is the public debut pictures of Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce. The ESPY's announced that Caitlyn would be receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage Award this year. What has followed as been interesting and disturbing to watch. Caitlyn has gotten a lot of attention for being "beautiful." And while she is very beautiful, why is it that all people can describe her as is beautiful or that's the starting point? Why does being a woman equal a social understanding of what is to be beautiful? What about using words like courageous, loving, smart, devoted, strong, etc.? A woman is more than what society deems as beautiful or pretty but that seems to be all society focuses on. Who doesn't like to feel and look beautiful but that's not the main thing that should define a person. Hey society lets expand our descriptions of people, and women in particular, past looks? Now lets talk about courage - there has been a backlash about why...

Scripture readings are Acts 4:32-35 and  1 John 1: 1-2:2           So what do you hear or think about when we look at these scripture readings? Usually with the Acts reading, people think of Communism, not the China/North Korea version of it. But true, real communism, where everyone is taken care of and has what they need. Most folks don’t react very well with this concept today, especially in Western society because we've all earned what we have and if you don’t have what you need then you’re not trying hard enough. Let’s face it we've all had those thoughts running through our heads when we see someone asking for change or when you get in a line behind someone who’s using WIC to buy milk, juice, formula and other basic items and the cashier has no idea how to ring it up in the computer system so you have to wait a few minutes longer. Isn't it interesting how fast we jump to assume that these people have...

Ferguson, MO is a hot bed of conversation right now. Last week, a youth was shot by police. The investigation into the situation is currently underway. Society is now polarized as being for the youth or for the police. Here is what I know - an investigation is still underway. Society and the media don't know every thing that happened. Patience and non-violence need to be demonstrated as we look for the truth and try to understand this situation before judgement is waged. My heart breaks for this situation. But I have to believe that we can look at the bigger picture. The fact is that the police in this community have a long history of being excessive in their force in dealing with the community. Many folks in this community have felt that the are lesser than others in the community. The fact is that police are trained to shoot at a critical mass (chest and head) area when forced to shoot at a suspect. Other countries train their police to shot when they feel their lives are endan...

Next week is the yearly main fundraiser where I work. It's a yearly event that's been going on for a couple of years. At the beginning of the month the group in charge of planning met again to go over details. Plans were made, volunteers gathers and things were agreed upon. This past Sunday, 2 people (1 who was at this meeting and 1 who wasn't) decided to undo everything that was agreed upon. When I remind these folks that things were already decided upon by a group and people had a plan, they pretty much decided that they didn't care and were going ahead with their plans. This has become a fundraiser that has cost more than it's brought in because of these types of issues. They run off people, they're not welcoming and they can't make a commitment to follow a plan and micro-manage everything. I just have to believe that things don't need to be this complicated. I believe so often folks feel the need to try to gain some sense of control and power, that...

Yesterday Flight MH 17 was shot down over Ukraine. I am saddened and heart sick that this is the level the world needs to go to in order to gain some fleeting feeling of control. I have, am and will continue to pray for those who died and are affected by this tragic event. But what makes me concerned is that from the moment that word hit "the wire" that there was a plane crash, the media was "breaking into" programs to broadcast images and tweets from Twitter about what may or may not have happened. It's not that I'm worried about the news bulletin that the crash happened. I'm most concerned that before any one knew what had happened speculation was being flung around as news. I'm concerned that we had to spend hours looking at the broadcast of black smoke. Folks died, people are mourning - how is this honoring those lives? How is this responsible reporting? A popular response to these concerns is "well turn off the TV." Guess what, I d...

Today I sat with a family who's matriarch died in hospice care. As the family was gathered, I asked some questions about the matriarch's and the family's wishes about the memorial service. As I sat and attempted to work with this family I started to come up with a list of helpful things I think folks should consider before they get to this stage. I offer these as suggestions and not requirements. But having been a hospital chaplain and now a congregational pastor I'd recommend folks to look at these things. Grief touches people in different ways. It can bring out and the best and the worst - and I've literally seen fist fights break out. Although no amount of preparation takes away grief, it can help folks in the grieving process and make grief lessen. 1) Advance Directives/Living Wills/Medical Decisions. I have one, have for several years. These are legal documents you can have made that allow you to make decisions about how you wanted to be treated by medical pr...

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye...

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur...

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the ...

Having done my fair share of working in retail. With my current job it's not uncommon to make several trips (max I've hit is 5) in the same day to the store to take people shopping. So I'm generally not a fan of going back to the store after work. I ventured out on Saturday to go grocery shopping with my mom after work. While she shopped I walked around, getting a few things I needed for events upcoming, looking at the randomness that is holiday stuff. And then I started to listening to others were saying around me. Some were talking to children, others family and friends and then there was the "take a guess" crowd who were glued to their cell phones.The over arching theme of all of the conversations was this: I have to do this. I have to make this. We need this. We have to be here. We have to see all of these different places. What I found myself wanting to scream was "it all doesn't matter!" "It all doesn't matter." The business, th...

This past Saturday a verdict was rendered by 6 people on a jury in the Trayvon Martin murder case in Florida. Mr. Zimmerman was found not guilt. The country has been captivated by this case. A young, African American boy got into a fight with a white man who was on Neighborhood Watch. When things got out of control and Mr. Zimmerman believed his life was in danger he pulled out a gun, that was registered and Mr. Zimmerman had the permit to carry, and used it. Trayvon Martin died due to gun shots. It has become a case that has led to further scrutiny of race relations in America today. It has caused people to take a look at racial profiling. It has caused tensions to rise between those with power and those without. Here's what I know: this needs to be a time where communities and groups  come together to support each other and to  show love to everyone. Whether or not you agree with the verdict of the case, whether or not you believe that this was self defens...