The World's Okayest Pastor

I am not speaking at anyone's commencement and/or baccalaureate. But in light of a certain American football kicker's commencement speech, I thought that I would offer my own. Enjoy! Congratulations Class of 2024! You've made it. You have survived a global pandemic, an insurrection, the increase of technology and AI, serious conversations about personhood and the rights of each and every person, global weather phenomena's and so much more. I don't know about y'all but I'm tired. But you've made it. You're here. And if no one else tells you this, know that I am proud of you and I am cheering you on in whatever positive and good things you choose to do as you go forward. Remember to stay healthy and safe and that your actions can and do affect others so please don't only think of yourself.  You will never stop being inundated with messages from others about what you should do and be, how you should do those things and how you should be as person. Y...

They say "grief is a funny thing." While sometimes funny things happen as part of the grief process, I'm not sure I buy into this saying.  Recently, a colleague died unexpectedly, leaving behind a partner, two adult kids and countless friends, colleagues and others. Many people are in shock and grieving the surprise of this person's death. Others are feeling some relief and PTSD as their lived experience of this person has been different from others. Watching the social media posts roll in and seeing people go at it in the comments breaks my heart a bit. Most of the comments have been about sorrow and how good this person was. Other people have chosen not to share anything and a few have expressed that they feel a relief or even sorrow because this person is not going to be held accountable for their actions against them. And people are attacking those who have not had positive experiences with this individual. As someone who has attended hundreds of deaths and offici...

Can God handle our rage? This question was posed to me this weekend by the Rev. Dr. Velda Love at the UCCB meeting in Cleveland. Simply put - yes. If we are created in God's image, with all of God's feelings included in us, then why wouldn't God be able to handle our rage? But maybe the better question is, can we, humanity, handle each other's rage? Can humanity handle God's rage? I would say no. We have a culture of stuffing feelings down or in, of not being real and honest with ourselves and others. We demonize others as being "emotional" if they express their rage. We all know the current troupe of the "angry black woman." We've heard that a woman couldn't possible by president and be left in charge of the nuclear codes because she'll become overtaken by their emotions and push the "big red button." Going back in history, most major civilizations and religions have a story of a great flood; god/gods get so enraged by huma...

 Dear Nancy Pelosi, I extended this invitation when Catholic Bishops said they would refuse President Biden communion and now I extend it to you. You can have communion with me. I would be happy to share God's love with you around a simple meal that Jesus started.  This invitation to the table, communion, actually doesn't come from me. It comes from God. God extends their grace and love to all. God adds chairs to God's table of love, grace and mercy. I, nor any other person, has the right and/or authority to deny you at God's table.  Thank you for standing up for what you believe regarding women's healthcare. What many American Christians have forgotten is that until roughly the 1950's and 60's many denominations/traditions were pro-choice because life begins at first breath - a very biblical notion. You are fighting for those who are considered the least of these as Jesus tells us to do. So when we meet, I look forward to sharing in a scared act with you th...

I often leave the TV on for my dog when I leave the house. Yesterday, a TV preacher came up on the screen. I usually don't pay that much attention as I'm leaving but his words (of course it's an old, white man, telling us what the Bible says) struct me and made me sad that this was the teaching being shared with a large audience.  The preacher kept saying that "God loves you but 'he' loves the faithful more." "God loves you but 'he' loves those fighting for God more." He had a whole litany of these sayings. A few also had the word "but" in them. "God love you but only if..." It was clear that there was a mandate of being their version of Christian. The list made it clear that it was either this or that - an all or nothing to being loved by God.  I cringe at this because if this were the truth about God and God's love - I don't think anyone would be loved by God. Of course, the preacher had all kinds of proof te...

I’m a minister and I care about ministerial credentials. This is partially why I enjoy my work on my association’s COM (Committee on Ministry - we work with those who have ministerial standing and those who are discerning a call to ministerial). I’d like to think that I’m fairly good at it. I have gone to college and seminary and keep up with certificates and continuing education yearly. I find this to be important because I want to be the best I can be and faith is constantly evolving along with the scholarship. So I am very bothered when I see colleagues who don’t do continuing education. I’m gravely concerned about people who think they can become pastors simply by going online and paying a fee or taking a one weekend class. I’m not saying that lay people, those who don’t go to seminary or divinity school, cannot become great, well rounded pastors. I fully support alternative routes to ministry and if I was looking at going into ministry today, I would probably use an alternative ...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

  In the aftermath of the events of Paris and San Bernadino, California, there has been quite the backlash against all Muslims. We now have political candidates stating that we need to "register" Muslims and block Muslims from entering the country. The fear and hate speech is out of control and based on ignorance, not the facts. A country that once said that we welcomed people is now saying we welcome only those who look, act, and believe like those in control.   So as a pastor, let me tell you why I love my Muslim brothers and sisters. First off they are not out to wage a violent, blood "holy way = jihad" against anyone. Jihad is the struggle each Muslim has, within themselves, to lead the most holy and right life. It is not about bloodshed and "killing the infidel." Any Muslim who claims to believe in a holy killing war is misguided and has been denounced by the majority of the world's Muslims. As I write this post, the Western Christian world is in...

  The “war on Christmas” has begun. Or at least that’s what some Christians want us to think. Because  Starbucks , a company that has never claimed to be Christian, chose to have red cups without snowflakes, Santa or reindeer on them (just a reminder that none of those are Christian symbols), there is a "war on Christmas."   Once the “cup controversy” hit the news, old articles and videos came back about how using the abbreviation “Xmas” was anti Christmas and Christian. To address the "Xmas controversy," let’s learn a little Greek. X or “Chi” is the first Greek letter used in spelling “Christ” and is a common Christian symbol representing Jesus Christ. Therefore Xmas is Christian and appropriate for Christmas.   But regardless of what we choose to learn and teach about what’s Christian or not, I’d like to pose two bigger questions: why does the color of a coffee cup mean a person’s faith is being questioned and why do Christians feel that just because...

  In the church I currently serve, we celebrate communion on the first Sunday of the month. Everytime we celebrate communion I always conclude the meditation and the Words of Institution with an invitation to the talbe that includes the following: Come to the table because this is God's table. It's not the table of this congregation or this denomination, but God's. Because of that you all are welcome here.   Some of my church members think that I just like to repeat myself. But I say this for theological reasons. All too often churches like to put up boundries to participation in the full life of the church: membership requirements, approval by the pastor, counsel/boards, reciting certain creeds/belief statements, etc. While these are more formal reasons that churches bar people from full participation in all aspects of the church, there are informal ways of keeping people from full participation: unwelcoming, rumor mills, creative ways of making sure people are not includ...

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

            I am convinced that there are not many new ideas coming out. For the most part, folks take what already exists and put it in new packaging or reword a phrase or two and then say it’s new. Think about your cell phones. We’re bombarded with constant ads that we need new ones that are better somehow. Really it’s the same thing, just coming out of a new box.             At times, when we follow the Church year it feels like there’s nothing new. We move from one thing to the next because, as the Church, it’s what we do. The Church  doesn't  really think of time like we do in our everyday lives. Generally, we think of time in a linear fashion; there’s a beginning, middle and end. So it’s already a shift in thinking when the Church year, although it technically does have a beginning (first Sunday of Advent) and end (Christ the King Sunday), is a circle. With a perfect circle ...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

What follows below is a paper I wrote for a worship class on weddings from 2008. I'm happy to say that civil unions (same sex marriage) is now legal in 19 states, the federal government has agreed to recognize all civil unions and DOMA laws are now being legal challenged in all of the states that have not allowed same sex marriage.            As one stands in line at the grocery check out line, you will find at least one magazine devoted to marriage, specifically brides. There’s usually a picture of the happy bride, sometimes with the groom, with headlines such as how to have a grand wedding for only a grand and so on. Young children are encouraged to play out fantasies about getting married with dolls [1] . Marriage in the United States has become a vast marketing opportunity, which is a multi-million dollar a year industry. The Church has to rethink what is appropriate. The American Church has to find ways to bridge the function of the state and t...

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (...

Today I had lunch with 2 of my fellow clergy people in town. A complaint that I heard was that people in my generational range don't just accept theological concepts anymore (virgin birth, Jesus as fully human and fully divine, heaven vs. hell, etc). These 2 folks are older than I am but we all struggle with congregations that are dying rather than growing. I believe that this comment has more to do with the frustration clergy feel about each week seeing that the numbers aren't going up and the pews look more empty than ever than with my actual generation's view on theology. However this is an important comment to pay attention too. My generation today no longer has to rely on the educated few to impart theological information to the mass. You have a question or want to know why we say or do something, you are just 1 Google search away from having multiple sources available to you to find an answer. If you read more than 1 of the Google search results you may even find tha...

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur...

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the ...

With the bombings at the Boston Marathon today there's still a sense of shock that lingers. That really happened today to a bunch of people running and those watching? It did. We don't know why? No - we don't. It's at times like these when people ask the tough questions of why? Why us? Why did it happen? Why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? As a pastor I get looked to for answers in times like these and my answer is "I don't know." It's simple and honest. I have no idea how someone or a group of people would think it's okay for whatever reason to kill and hurt so many people. I have no idea what brings about so much hate and anger. Now to the harder why question as a pastor - why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? I don't believe that God takes any delight in times like these. I don't believe that God wants any part of creation to do these things. I believe in a God that s so big that yes God could stop...

So a friend was going through and sharing some old pictures that I had taken and put on Facebook. So of course I went through my pictures on Facebook. Here's what I noticed: I take more pictures then I am in and if I'm in a picture this above sums up how I'm most often captured - hiding or running away. I don't stop to be in pictures and I honestly don't enjoy pictures. I'm much more comfortable taking the picture then being in one or hiding in the back row if I must be in one. But here's the scarier thing I'm realizing - I'm missing out on things by spending more time hiding from cameras. Since I don't want to be in a picture I'm often captured running away. I wanted to update my profile picture because it's going on 9 months and I don't have a picture to put up there. What message do I send out when I'm so uncomfortable being in front of the camera? Now I firmly believe that shoving a camera in one's face constantly is a...