The World's Okayest Pastor

They say "grief is a funny thing." While sometimes funny things happen as part of the grief process, I'm not sure I buy into this saying.  Recently, a colleague died unexpectedly, leaving behind a partner, two adult kids and countless friends, colleagues and others. Many people are in shock and grieving the surprise of this person's death. Others are feeling some relief and PTSD as their lived experience of this person has been different from others. Watching the social media posts roll in and seeing people go at it in the comments breaks my heart a bit. Most of the comments have been about sorrow and how good this person was. Other people have chosen not to share anything and a few have expressed that they feel a relief or even sorrow because this person is not going to be held accountable for their actions against them. And people are attacking those who have not had positive experiences with this individual. As someone who has attended hundreds of deaths and offici...

Today I sat with a family who's matriarch died in hospice care. As the family was gathered, I asked some questions about the matriarch's and the family's wishes about the memorial service. As I sat and attempted to work with this family I started to come up with a list of helpful things I think folks should consider before they get to this stage. I offer these as suggestions and not requirements. But having been a hospital chaplain and now a congregational pastor I'd recommend folks to look at these things. Grief touches people in different ways. It can bring out and the best and the worst - and I've literally seen fist fights break out. Although no amount of preparation takes away grief, it can help folks in the grieving process and make grief lessen. 1) Advance Directives/Living Wills/Medical Decisions. I have one, have for several years. These are legal documents you can have made that allow you to make decisions about how you wanted to be treated by medical pr...