The World's Okayest Pastor

  In the church I currently serve, we celebrate communion on the first Sunday of the month. Everytime we celebrate communion I always conclude the meditation and the Words of Institution with an invitation to the talbe that includes the following: Come to the table because this is God's table. It's not the table of this congregation or this denomination, but God's. Because of that you all are welcome here.   Some of my church members think that I just like to repeat myself. But I say this for theological reasons. All too often churches like to put up boundries to participation in the full life of the church: membership requirements, approval by the pastor, counsel/boards, reciting certain creeds/belief statements, etc. While these are more formal reasons that churches bar people from full participation in all aspects of the church, there are informal ways of keeping people from full participation: unwelcoming, rumor mills, creative ways of making sure people are not includ...

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

Below is my contribution to the annual devotional booklet for Light a Candle for Children Prayer Vigil. Clearly I'm way behind in posting this but here it is. Friday, October 10, 2014 Seeing More than Stumbling Blocks Jeremiah 6:21 There are days I struggle to get tasks completed because I don’t understand them. It’s a blessing when one of the church children come up and magically move things or hit a button and things just work. Children see more than stumbling blocks and make a difference because they believe that they can do anything. They haven’t heard society tell them what/who they are or are not yet. Children have a unique way of seeing a different perspective. Jeremiah addressed God’s people, who often refused to change their hearts and see differently. It’s not the most loving thing to put a stumbling block in our way. But sometimes blocks help us to slow down and re-evaluate the situation. The Church has the blessing of children to let us see things in ne...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (...

Today I had lunch with 2 of my fellow clergy people in town. A complaint that I heard was that people in my generational range don't just accept theological concepts anymore (virgin birth, Jesus as fully human and fully divine, heaven vs. hell, etc). These 2 folks are older than I am but we all struggle with congregations that are dying rather than growing. I believe that this comment has more to do with the frustration clergy feel about each week seeing that the numbers aren't going up and the pews look more empty than ever than with my actual generation's view on theology. However this is an important comment to pay attention too. My generation today no longer has to rely on the educated few to impart theological information to the mass. You have a question or want to know why we say or do something, you are just 1 Google search away from having multiple sources available to you to find an answer. If you read more than 1 of the Google search results you may even find tha...

If you were an intern when I was a resident chaplain then you know my simple prayer. It's Really!?!?! I believe that sums up most prayers that come from the heart and it suits many times of crisis and uncertainty. I find that I'm praying that almost constantly daily. From the really you just did/said that with my job to really with what's going on in the world. It's a fitting prayer for many times and places. It's an honest prayer because I know that I don't understand everything that's going on in this world or my life. It can be uttered when one crys, screamed hen angry, laughingly spoken or said in times of thanks and awe that you made it. I get that there's a thought that you should be fairly formal in your prayers. Many people have sold many books trying to teach the art of prayer. While I firmly believe that those books and forms are great for times of formal corporate prayer - when I pray personally I don't really care if I hit a certain ...

With the bombings at the Boston Marathon today there's still a sense of shock that lingers. That really happened today to a bunch of people running and those watching? It did. We don't know why? No - we don't. It's at times like these when people ask the tough questions of why? Why us? Why did it happen? Why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? As a pastor I get looked to for answers in times like these and my answer is "I don't know." It's simple and honest. I have no idea how someone or a group of people would think it's okay for whatever reason to kill and hurt so many people. I have no idea what brings about so much hate and anger. Now to the harder why question as a pastor - why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? I don't believe that God takes any delight in times like these. I don't believe that God wants any part of creation to do these things. I believe in a God that s so big that yes God could stop...

So yesterday I stopped by a national retailer to pick up a few things on my list and thought "it'll be a nice easy in and out trip. Walking in the first set of automatic doors opened as I approached. Then the second didn't and if you know my skills at paying attention at times. I walked smacked into closed doors which were kind enough to open after I walked into them. So I bounced off the doors and then walked through. The guy at customer serviced stared at me and I shrugged it off. Now this wouldn't be so bad except that as I was leaving and using the other entrance same thing happens. First set of doors open but not the second. With a "Really?" and a sigh I pushed open the automatic door and left the door - starting to wonder if I was going to need to dodge cars or carts. But in thinking about it how often do we all walk into doors in our lives? (metaphorically). Some days we bounce and can just shrug it off. We find ways to either open the door ourselves...

So the Bishop of Rome - aka the Pope, head of the Roman Catholic Church - announced that he will be retiring at the end of February. This is historic because it has not happened for 600 years. The last time a pope retired it was during a time of uprising and fighting and there were 3 people claiming to be the Pope. We've all heard the joke that the Pope gave up his job for Lent. It's been rumored by some groups that the Pope is retiring before things come out about clergy misconduct and cover up within the denomination. The Vatican states that the Pope is retiring because his health can no longer meet the demands of the job. Whatever the reason, I think this leaves the world's largest Christian denomination in an interesting place and other denominations as well. It's a time to examine what Church leadership is and what it means to be the head of a religious organization. Regardless of whatever denomination, its leader bears the weight of many. There are expectations ...

Sitting at lunch with my good friend/mentor/pastor/life journey person we noticed a young woman walking into a restaurant next door wearing a very bright jacket. The glow of the neon yellow couldn't help but catch our attentions. Most neon colors do just that - call out for attention. But what was interesting was that this young lady had an additional jacket on - not uncommon when the high for the day is 20 - that was black with a basic pattern. It was the ultimate "don't notice me" jacket. A walking example of the dualism that exists in our lives.This young lady wanted to be seen but at the same time not. Isn't this a visible example of how we are taught to live our lives. We should be seen and out there but at the same time we're told to be mysterious and subdue. Maybe this is more of a girl theme. But men/guys are told to be the macho men but yet go home and be this soft teddy bear. These two ideas stand in opposition to each other. It's not to say th...

If I wrote a book... I'm not sure it would make it to the non-fiction section in the bookstores. Some of the things that I have experienced/heard/witnessed too are just things you can't make up but sure sound like it (i.e. a co-worker trying to convince me that a pineapple becomes a watermelon or vice verse - either way it's still messed up). If I wrote a book... I'm not sure that I would know what to fill the pages up with. Would it be to pastoral? Would it be too sarcastic? Would it be too critical? Would it be too "churchy" so that people wouldn't want to read it? If I wrote a book... I'm not sure what I would title it. I don't like coming up with titles period so that would be a major struggle for me. How to be catchy and at the same time honest and real? Then what picture would go on the back for a picture of the author? Since I tend to find ways not to be in pictures maybe a picture of me holding up my hands to the lens would be fitting. ...

There are days when I sit down to write and think I have something to say or share. And then I manage to sit down and it's gone. The energy and the words flee from my body. I get frustrated with that. In reflection upon this common occurrence it's partly because I want to believe that I'm this perfect person - that maybe for a bit I have my $&!% together. But the reality is - I don't. Many clergy, mental health care workers, doctors, etc don't have it together. They probably never have in their lifetimes and they most likely will only see glimpses of what it might look like being "together." I am convinced that there is not 1 person on planet earth, not even the Dali Lama, who has everything together. So that makes me wonder even more (yes I have spiral thinking processes) - why is it so important to get your stuff together? Why is it key and a sign of how great you are as an individual that you have your life together? It's partly a way for comp...

What has become more and more abundantly clear to me lately is that my angry self is coming out more and more. I'm pissed about work and where my life is/is not. I'm angry about laws and government rulings that affect me across the board. I'm angry that the "Church" sucks at being the "Church." I'm angry that I don't know how to express this anger in a constructive or healthy way. Anger is something that can sneak up on you and then it's unleashed. My anger I'm learning with the help of my spiritual director is a sign that I have not let my higher self be in the driver's seat. That I am out of balance. This is not to say that one does not get angry when the situation warrants it. However, when it's a constant feeling that you must spend time pushing anger down into its place, in your guts, you are out of balance and that's where I find myself - out of balance. And lets think about my relationship with God - who seems to be an ...

I struggle with the concept of being responsible. I have never lacked at being the responsible one in many situations. My OCD tendencies and leadership style tend to suit me being the responsible person in situations. However, when it comes to life I find that I tend to let my responsible self dominate the rest of my life. If you think of a person being made of a variety of parts that could be seen as individual people that all sit in a circle. As whole they make you up and should work to keep you in balance. There's the lover, fighter, career person, responsible person, the higher self, the inner critic, so on and so on. It is easy to get out of balance in this group. One person will tend to come to the fore front and for me right now it's the responsible one. While not always a bad thing to be responsible, when that is your dominate mode of operation balance is lost. The whole self loses touch with the things that ground and refresh a person. They lose sight of the joy in cre...

Today is the day after "the day" in American politics. We've voted and most of those votes have been counted. If you hadn't noticed I fell silent for some time - Facebook statuses became fewer and more far between and I haven't blogged in weeks. Why - because I felt that I couldn't be responsible for putting out any other message at a time when there were so many messages being shoved down our throats as a society. Whatever side you align yourself with, I think we can agree that we were targeted by ads, status updates, news feeds and conversations. It made my brain turn to mush. It made my head and more importantly my heart hurt. I know we are a broken world. My profession I'm trained in is based on that there is need for healing in this world. However, I felt that we, American society, have gone to a new low. No one truly won in this mess of a political system. I admit we need some form of government and I'm thankful I have the freedom I do have. Howe...

I'm blessed, if you're reading this you're blessed. The more I do intra-personal work and the more I listen and read other's stories and share in their journeys the more I realize I'm plagued by first world problems. Oh my cell phone is shutting itself on and off - and it's borderline panic time. Gas prices went up again. I can choose to boycott various restaurant chains. We can fit about what color the new carpet should be. And while these seem like big problems - the fact of the matter is that it is a privilege to even have these "problems" in the first place. The fact of the matter is I, and dare I say American society, spend too much time fighting and debating these small problems. The reality is there are much bigger issues to tackle - poverty, hunger, lack of basic needs, lack of education, lack of health care, discrimination. To paraphrase the words of a wise Biblical Scholar - if people, the world, focused on these bigger issues then we wouldn...

I just got back from walking in the Des Moines Area Hunger Hike. I haven't done it in about 11 years because I lived elsewhere but I used to do it every year in my youth. This year I was there as a team of myself. I listened to the speakers and then it was off and walking. I started out trying to find my place in the pack - finding where I could walk my pace without being in the way of others. I found myself walking along side of a grandfather who was pulling his grandson in a red wagon. We smiled and acknowledged each other's presence and then continued walking along, joined for a moment in this shared concern. We we crossed streets I noticed something that renewed my faith in good and humanity. Not all of the places we crossed had dips in the sidewalk. The grandfather would start to slow down to gently pull the wagon with his grandson and folks would just come along and pick up the wagon and set it down so the grandson wouldn't be bounced out or knocked around. We'd g...

October is the month that celebrates many things: Ministerial Appreciation, breast cancer awareness, bullying prevention, domestic violence awareness month and many many more that I can't even remember at this point (ranking means nothing - it's just how things popped in my head). That doesn't count all of the days that are added to it - World Communion Sunday, Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi, National Coming Out Day, etc, etc. It's overwhelming to me lately. I'm not sure why but this month, my life in particular, seems to be more busy. I'm living by calendars and schedules like never before. Plotting and planning seems to be constantly going on. What I've decided that it's all become busy work - ways to both intentionally and unintentionally avoid being aware to myself and others. But it's myself that I'm going to focus on. I've been avoiding dealing with my higher Self - the divine self who wants to come in and love me. It's easy to ...

This past weekend the Indiana region of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) denomination voted to remove sexuality as one of the criteria they will use to say they recommend a candidate be ordained into Christian ministry. What this does do is allow individual congregations more freedom in ordaining who they see fit to ordain - a move to being true to the history of the denomination where each church is free to make it's own decisions. This statement is neither for or against the ordination of homosexual individuals. And while I'm happy that this is a step in the right direction, in the effort to find equality, I want the denomination to get on board with this discussion. I want to see the denomination, like others, stop saying that it is going to discern the issue of homosexuality and the life of the church and bring the issue up in a serious, balanced manner for talk and debate at the general/national level. I honestly see that this is an issue that needs to be discu...