The World's Okayest Pastor

February 2025 feels like it's been the longest year ever. The state of the US government is just scary and getting worse and worse by the hour. As a cis-gender, white, middle age, female I know I have more agency and power then many. I can't know what my siblings of God are feeling and dealing with during this time when their existence is literally being erased by the US government and they're being told they're flawed and have no rights to even exist. Although there are grassroot efforts to fight the orange one's executive orders, I fear we are following the Hitler playbook and there are not enough people on the right who will stand up against our president and his regime.  It has been hard to write an update on daily or even semi regular "days in the life of a pastor." Finding words that speak to as many as possible because I work in a purple congregation takes time and energy that I am running low on. And then on a more personal professional note: being...

Today started off well. It's the day after New Years so the office has been closed for two days. My secretary is taking the last of their vacation for 2024. Things are calm. There's not much happening in the life of the church. I spent the morning proof reading the bulletin and getting it ready so I can print it tomorrow.  The afternoon rolls around and my meeting for the afternoon goes well. But then a member decides to speak about a topic that does not belong in or near the committee that just wrapped. The member's comments spiral into complaints about me, complete with making personal digs at me, twice that I can clearly recall.  I'm not surprised by this behavior because it's a continuation of bad behavior that's been going on for years. I've called this member and their spouse to task for their actions and words. I get that wounded people wound other people but that is also not an excuse to refuse to have a meeting to discuss how to make amends and move...

It's June 24, 2021 and I just want to say "Oh Church People!" The current president of the USA, Joe Biden, is a devote and practicing Roman Catholic. Bishops in the Catholic church are in serious discussion about whether or not they will deny Biden communion, one of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church. This is because although Biden, personally does not believe in abortion, he refuses to sign federal laws banning all abortion and other restrictive means for women's healthcare. Biden is demonstrating a founding principal of the USA - separation of Church and State and demonstrating that religious freedom means that all faith expressions and that one fraction of a particular tradition doesn't speak for the whole tradition (I speak for my own faith perspective and no one else's just like the the Catholic Church doesn't speak to my faith perspective). What I find so interesting is that the sacrament (ordinance in some traditions) of communion was insti...

 So I haven't blogged in awhile. I just couldn't write about so much because it was too real and raw and just flat out hurt on so many levels. I'll share more about things as time goes on but not at the moment. So here's a brief life update. 2020 was a year that no one predicted. Covid 19 became a global pandemic. It meant that church had to be different because it wasn't safe to be around people for the year. Wearing facemasks and washing hands became a political issue - this I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Iowa experienced a derecho - a new word for me. It's basically an inland hurricane. The derecho devastated a lot of Iowa. Belle Plaine was without power for more than a week. I became the unofficial relief coordinator for the town and that expanded into surrounding areas. I'm really happy to not see a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for awhile but hey people got fed. I spent three weeks hosting various mission groups from the Seventh Day Ad...

During the early part of the 2018 election cycle, one of my friends ran for an office. They had a results party at a gay bar in the closest big town. I have been to other events at this bar because it has hosted public events that match my call for social justice and public ministry. Afterwards, several people just assumed that because I knew this bar and was comfortable being there, that I identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I don’t. I identify as a cisgender, white female who is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. So at best I am a welcomed outsider but I am an outsider to this community. Once people got to know me better, folks started to apologize to me for labeling as part of the LGBTQ+ community.  My response was it wasn’t a big deal to me and I don’t really care that I was labeled as such. Some people accepted this but others seemed taken aback because I didn’t have a strong response of concern about being mis-labeled.  As I w...

As a pastor, folks feel the need to share things with me, whether they are appropriate or not. A common phrase I've heard off and on during my ministry, and it has gained a grand reprise now that I am the last of my siblings to be single, is "pastor, when are you going to get married?" My most "favorite" incarnation of this came when the church board was asking about my insurance coverage and it was suggested that I should get married to a guy who has a good plan I could join. Creative...maybe. Had that thought crossed my mind? Yes but I also never said that out loud and never planned on that being a solution. So if folks really want to know when I'm going to get married here is the long answer: I will get marred when I find the right person to marry. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am fat and an ordained minister. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am not here to be a challe...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

I have a confession: I will disappoint people as a pastor. This is a reality I live almost daily. I see it when I'm introduced by my last name and watch as a person's face falls when they realize I'm female. I see it in some folks who see my tattoos and shake their head in disapproval that I'd mark my body. I will disappoint people as a pastor because I will make a mistake and/or forget something. Yes I try to remember what I'm told on the fly, but my brain is not as good as it once was. Sunday mornings before and after worship are not always the best time to tell me things because my brain wrestles with many things. (Note - help your pastor out and write stuff down for us. We thank you in advance.) I will disappoint people by my choice to schedule time off when they feel that I should be present with them. While I personally, and many of my colleagues do the same, will attend to true crisis during our off time, others have different values, priorities and expec...

  In the aftermath of the events of Paris and San Bernadino, California, there has been quite the backlash against all Muslims. We now have political candidates stating that we need to "register" Muslims and block Muslims from entering the country. The fear and hate speech is out of control and based on ignorance, not the facts. A country that once said that we welcomed people is now saying we welcome only those who look, act, and believe like those in control.   So as a pastor, let me tell you why I love my Muslim brothers and sisters. First off they are not out to wage a violent, blood "holy way = jihad" against anyone. Jihad is the struggle each Muslim has, within themselves, to lead the most holy and right life. It is not about bloodshed and "killing the infidel." Any Muslim who claims to believe in a holy killing war is misguided and has been denounced by the majority of the world's Muslims. As I write this post, the Western Christian world is in...

  The “war on Christmas” has begun. Or at least that’s what some Christians want us to think. Because  Starbucks , a company that has never claimed to be Christian, chose to have red cups without snowflakes, Santa or reindeer on them (just a reminder that none of those are Christian symbols), there is a "war on Christmas."   Once the “cup controversy” hit the news, old articles and videos came back about how using the abbreviation “Xmas” was anti Christmas and Christian. To address the "Xmas controversy," let’s learn a little Greek. X or “Chi” is the first Greek letter used in spelling “Christ” and is a common Christian symbol representing Jesus Christ. Therefore Xmas is Christian and appropriate for Christmas.   But regardless of what we choose to learn and teach about what’s Christian or not, I’d like to pose two bigger questions: why does the color of a coffee cup mean a person’s faith is being questioned and why do Christians feel that just because...

  In the church I currently serve, we celebrate communion on the first Sunday of the month. Everytime we celebrate communion I always conclude the meditation and the Words of Institution with an invitation to the talbe that includes the following: Come to the table because this is God's table. It's not the table of this congregation or this denomination, but God's. Because of that you all are welcome here.   Some of my church members think that I just like to repeat myself. But I say this for theological reasons. All too often churches like to put up boundries to participation in the full life of the church: membership requirements, approval by the pastor, counsel/boards, reciting certain creeds/belief statements, etc. While these are more formal reasons that churches bar people from full participation in all aspects of the church, there are informal ways of keeping people from full participation: unwelcoming, rumor mills, creative ways of making sure people are not includ...

  A pastor is first and foremost human. We generally love to walk with people on their journeys; births, relationships, baptisms, illnesses, deaths. But just as these events happen in non-church situations they happen in the life of your pastor. They may happen directly to us, it may be to "our people" - friends, family, those who support/love/care for us.     Church members/parishioners try to be there for us. Some of them are really good about being there for their pastors. Sometimes they really get things and know when we need a break/to cry/to laugh/to go home/etc. But at the end of the day, the reality is that pastors rarely can be that vulnerable with their church members. Sometimes its considered a boundaries violation to share their personal life with their church members. Other times a pastor has to be concerned about if sharing any personal information will come back later to be used against them. I know this sounds bad and it's not something I believe that ch...

Every week, I join pastors around the world, in thinking about the words that will come out of my mouth Sunday morning from the pulpit. I take preaching seriously because, in theory, I stand in a position of authority as pastor. I'm suppose to have learned about this stuff and have spent the week studying, praying and reflecting on scripture and the events of the world. I'm called to challenge, to teach, to encourage, to even scold at times. Here's the thing; when I get up to preach in most of the settings I've been in, I can see what people are doing in the pews. Generally I'm higher up then the people in the pews. I can see the kids who are being kids and drawing pictures on the bulletins or taking a nap because let's face it being 3 is hard work. I can see who has their phone out and is not reading an e-bible because I can see (and occasionally you forget to turn your sound off and/or you forget where you are and you get excited) that you're either usin...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (...

Today I had lunch with 2 of my fellow clergy people in town. A complaint that I heard was that people in my generational range don't just accept theological concepts anymore (virgin birth, Jesus as fully human and fully divine, heaven vs. hell, etc). These 2 folks are older than I am but we all struggle with congregations that are dying rather than growing. I believe that this comment has more to do with the frustration clergy feel about each week seeing that the numbers aren't going up and the pews look more empty than ever than with my actual generation's view on theology. However this is an important comment to pay attention too. My generation today no longer has to rely on the educated few to impart theological information to the mass. You have a question or want to know why we say or do something, you are just 1 Google search away from having multiple sources available to you to find an answer. If you read more than 1 of the Google search results you may even find tha...

Designated prayer person - as clergy in the Christian tradition there is the thought, maybe assumption by some, that we pray over every meal. For those of you who do that - great. I applaud you and your devotion. I, however, am not one of those people. I have developed a more flippant set of prayers that range from "yay God" to "please do not let this go straight to my hips, thighs and butt. Amen." I'm also a champion at the "not it" games of finger on the nose, thumbs on the edge of the table, etc to not be the last person caught not doing this therefore having to pray over a meal. It's not that I don't believe one should be thankful for food, hands who have prepared it and so on and so forth. It's just that I'm tired of being expected to recite rote prayers at meals. I get tired of having to remember who I'm with and where they are theologically and finding a balance of their belief system with mine. Trust me I really don't ...

So the Bishop of Rome - aka the Pope, head of the Roman Catholic Church - announced that he will be retiring at the end of February. This is historic because it has not happened for 600 years. The last time a pope retired it was during a time of uprising and fighting and there were 3 people claiming to be the Pope. We've all heard the joke that the Pope gave up his job for Lent. It's been rumored by some groups that the Pope is retiring before things come out about clergy misconduct and cover up within the denomination. The Vatican states that the Pope is retiring because his health can no longer meet the demands of the job. Whatever the reason, I think this leaves the world's largest Christian denomination in an interesting place and other denominations as well. It's a time to examine what Church leadership is and what it means to be the head of a religious organization. Regardless of whatever denomination, its leader bears the weight of many. There are expectations ...

So what is the minister suppose to look like? That's a much debated topic. 15 years ago when I encountered my first female pastor and said that I wanted to become a minister myself I was advised that for at least for the first year that I should never let anyone in my congregation see me without a skirt/dress on. A congregation was upset because I generally wear flip flops, not knowing or understanding that my feet are a very odd size and finding shoes that are comfortable to wear is very difficult and frustrating. The pastor of my current congregation has had numerous members come up to him and tell him that he does not look much like a minister because he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans when preaching. So what does or is a minister suppose to look like? Are ministers expected to be always in dress casual clothing? Should I always have a skirt hidden in my desk drawer/car trunk in case someone comes through the door? Should I be spending quality time every week making sure that...