The World's Okayest Pastor

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

Scripture Readings are Acts 3: 1-21 and  1 John 3:1-7           We’re in week 2 of hearing the voices of 2 different early groups within the Christian tradition. Acts is trying really hard to make the case that the work Peter and John are doing is in the line of the prophets and Jesus. The writer tells us of a miracle of healing a lame man and gee this story is pretty familiar. Jesus healed a lame man, Bartimaeus, who was carried into the temple on a mat as we read in Mark 10 starting with verse 46. Jesus healed him in the same way by telling the man to get up and walk. Peter and John want to carry on the legacy of Jesus’ work here on earth and this miracle helps to cement the case that these people are the real deal. They do what Jesus did.           Then we take a look at 1 John. And while there’s not a great miracle performed here, the author is asking are people doing what Jesus did? Do people believ...

Congratulations Class of 2015 and also to your families.  You've  made it to the finish line of high school. Next week you will receive your diplomas and will be officially adults by all standards. You’ll get the speeches that include hearing “The Giving Tree” and other stories to inspire you as you go about what the future holds for you. And while I could use this time to read you one of those inspirational stories, I’m not.           Instead I’m going to boil it all down for you. Our hopes, dreams and prayers for you all are really this; that you all will be decent human beings in all that you say, do and be. That  doesn't  seem to be that big of a task. But when we look back at scripture, the accounts of people trying to live a life that is faithful and aligns with God’s purpose for creating us, we see that it’s harder then we think. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there are times for everything. You will be c...

Tonight is one of those nights were I find I'm feeling bipolar. I'm attempting to write out plans for my job - a visioning process for a congregation to try to piece together where it sees its future. While my head and heart want to be 100% focused on this, I'm distracted by the thoughts about the vision of my life. While I was into Mary Kay (full disclosure - love the products, still technically a consultant but ugh) they were big on making goal posters - really vision posters. Each year, at least, we were asked to make these posters for what we wanted to achieve and to focus us on the year to come. It could be prizes to earn, vacations, homes, cars, outfits, etc. While there is nothing wrong with vision and goal posters as I reflect on how I feel about the goal/vision poster in my brain it's a mixture of things. There's part of me that feels inadequate because I'm still single, not the mom I hoped to be and not living and being as independent as I wanted to...

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye...

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the ...

I have been asked, several times and in several different contexts, why I am the way that I am. As much as I wish that the answer of "I am a combination of DNA, social norms and mores and life experiences and life lessons" was enough. And well that is the short answer, it is rarely enough to fully answer that question. But what I find that's just as important as the question is the reason that the question is asked. Is it because I do not fit stereotypes or preconceived notions of who another thinks I should be? Does this person really want to get to know me on a deeper level? Is it an interview question? I believe that there are multiple reasons for why I've been asked this question, some with good intent and others not so much. So why does this question matter? I think part of it is about trying to understand the unexplainable. But I have to wonder why the question needs to be asked. Why not let someone be who they are? Why not honor the person as they are, wher...

Having done my fair share of working in retail. With my current job it's not uncommon to make several trips (max I've hit is 5) in the same day to the store to take people shopping. So I'm generally not a fan of going back to the store after work. I ventured out on Saturday to go grocery shopping with my mom after work. While she shopped I walked around, getting a few things I needed for events upcoming, looking at the randomness that is holiday stuff. And then I started to listening to others were saying around me. Some were talking to children, others family and friends and then there was the "take a guess" crowd who were glued to their cell phones.The over arching theme of all of the conversations was this: I have to do this. I have to make this. We need this. We have to be here. We have to see all of these different places. What I found myself wanting to scream was "it all doesn't matter!" "It all doesn't matter." The business, th...

This past Saturday a verdict was rendered by 6 people on a jury in the Trayvon Martin murder case in Florida. Mr. Zimmerman was found not guilt. The country has been captivated by this case. A young, African American boy got into a fight with a white man who was on Neighborhood Watch. When things got out of control and Mr. Zimmerman believed his life was in danger he pulled out a gun, that was registered and Mr. Zimmerman had the permit to carry, and used it. Trayvon Martin died due to gun shots. It has become a case that has led to further scrutiny of race relations in America today. It has caused people to take a look at racial profiling. It has caused tensions to rise between those with power and those without. Here's what I know: this needs to be a time where communities and groups  come together to support each other and to  show love to everyone. Whether or not you agree with the verdict of the case, whether or not you believe that this was self defens...

If you were an intern when I was a resident chaplain then you know my simple prayer. It's Really!?!?! I believe that sums up most prayers that come from the heart and it suits many times of crisis and uncertainty. I find that I'm praying that almost constantly daily. From the really you just did/said that with my job to really with what's going on in the world. It's a fitting prayer for many times and places. It's an honest prayer because I know that I don't understand everything that's going on in this world or my life. It can be uttered when one crys, screamed hen angry, laughingly spoken or said in times of thanks and awe that you made it. I get that there's a thought that you should be fairly formal in your prayers. Many people have sold many books trying to teach the art of prayer. While I firmly believe that those books and forms are great for times of formal corporate prayer - when I pray personally I don't really care if I hit a certain ...

My post 2 days ago has been read and shared by several folks to thanks. I got asked a question about my response to the situation so here is why I blogged and why I took my time in posting it. 1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response. 2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and...

So a friend was going through and sharing some old pictures that I had taken and put on Facebook. So of course I went through my pictures on Facebook. Here's what I noticed: I take more pictures then I am in and if I'm in a picture this above sums up how I'm most often captured - hiding or running away. I don't stop to be in pictures and I honestly don't enjoy pictures. I'm much more comfortable taking the picture then being in one or hiding in the back row if I must be in one. But here's the scarier thing I'm realizing - I'm missing out on things by spending more time hiding from cameras. Since I don't want to be in a picture I'm often captured running away. I wanted to update my profile picture because it's going on 9 months and I don't have a picture to put up there. What message do I send out when I'm so uncomfortable being in front of the camera? Now I firmly believe that shoving a camera in one's face constantly is a...

I have a saying that my clients think is funny, if not repetitive at this point and my co-workers think is me just being sarcastic. But for me it seems to sum up the situation well. I find myself asked my clients "Do I have 'I'm stupid' tattooed across my forehead in ink I can't see?" I ask this in all seriousness when my clients start feeding me a line of complete and utter BS. And then in talking with a friend this afternoon we talked about having messages on us that say "please dump your shit on us." So that makes me wonder - what kinds of invisible ink do we all have scribbled over us? In certain places people think I'm stupid, in others oh she's a "Christian" - whatever that means. It is often easy to take on that invisible ink that others have written on to us and let it seep into our essence of being. It's too easy to allow people to write on us their own messages - full of values and assumptions - on us. And it's e...

There's a Matchbox 20 song called "Angry." Part of the lyrics to the chorus are "and I scream that I'm not angry." It's a good song for when you're angry. But right now there is a burning furnace churning in my core and this song lyric does not fully capture my feelings. Maybe if I was going to sing/scream this in the privacy of my car it would be more along the lines of "and I scream that I'm not angry, I'm pissed as hell!!!" It has been a trying weekend. It is no longer good or healthy for me to be numb. It's time to fight is what comes out over and over again from my core. At the more "nicer" end of my spectrum of anger is just having a good old fashion temper tantrum - kicking, screaming and throwing myself in the floor. At the other end of my spectrum is me wanting to have my own "temple tantrum" similar to the one recorded in the Gospels - Jesus over turning the tables in the temple to make his point. ...

Sitting at lunch with my good friend/mentor/pastor/life journey person we noticed a young woman walking into a restaurant next door wearing a very bright jacket. The glow of the neon yellow couldn't help but catch our attentions. Most neon colors do just that - call out for attention. But what was interesting was that this young lady had an additional jacket on - not uncommon when the high for the day is 20 - that was black with a basic pattern. It was the ultimate "don't notice me" jacket. A walking example of the dualism that exists in our lives.This young lady wanted to be seen but at the same time not. Isn't this a visible example of how we are taught to live our lives. We should be seen and out there but at the same time we're told to be mysterious and subdue. Maybe this is more of a girl theme. But men/guys are told to be the macho men but yet go home and be this soft teddy bear. These two ideas stand in opposition to each other. It's not to say th...

If I wrote a book... I'm not sure it would make it to the non-fiction section in the bookstores. Some of the things that I have experienced/heard/witnessed too are just things you can't make up but sure sound like it (i.e. a co-worker trying to convince me that a pineapple becomes a watermelon or vice verse - either way it's still messed up). If I wrote a book... I'm not sure that I would know what to fill the pages up with. Would it be to pastoral? Would it be too sarcastic? Would it be too critical? Would it be too "churchy" so that people wouldn't want to read it? If I wrote a book... I'm not sure what I would title it. I don't like coming up with titles period so that would be a major struggle for me. How to be catchy and at the same time honest and real? Then what picture would go on the back for a picture of the author? Since I tend to find ways not to be in pictures maybe a picture of me holding up my hands to the lens would be fitting. ...

There are days when I sit down to write and think I have something to say or share. And then I manage to sit down and it's gone. The energy and the words flee from my body. I get frustrated with that. In reflection upon this common occurrence it's partly because I want to believe that I'm this perfect person - that maybe for a bit I have my $&!% together. But the reality is - I don't. Many clergy, mental health care workers, doctors, etc don't have it together. They probably never have in their lifetimes and they most likely will only see glimpses of what it might look like being "together." I am convinced that there is not 1 person on planet earth, not even the Dali Lama, who has everything together. So that makes me wonder even more (yes I have spiral thinking processes) - why is it so important to get your stuff together? Why is it key and a sign of how great you are as an individual that you have your life together? It's partly a way for comp...

What has become more and more abundantly clear to me lately is that my angry self is coming out more and more. I'm pissed about work and where my life is/is not. I'm angry about laws and government rulings that affect me across the board. I'm angry that the "Church" sucks at being the "Church." I'm angry that I don't know how to express this anger in a constructive or healthy way. Anger is something that can sneak up on you and then it's unleashed. My anger I'm learning with the help of my spiritual director is a sign that I have not let my higher self be in the driver's seat. That I am out of balance. This is not to say that one does not get angry when the situation warrants it. However, when it's a constant feeling that you must spend time pushing anger down into its place, in your guts, you are out of balance and that's where I find myself - out of balance. And lets think about my relationship with God - who seems to be an ...