The World's Okayest Pastor

The things - the things. As I try to think of how I want to start this post I'm stuck on the words "the things..." Yesterday I had a member come talk to me, who was talking to me on behalf of another member, who had apparently called the vice moderator of the congregation. That's a whole lot of triangulation that I'm not even going to touch on this blog because that's a whole other blog.  I was told that because I had set out the roses for the confirmands on Sunday (because I had to set out their certificates, stoles, robes, and other gifts from the congregation) and I had filled pitchers with water and put them in the refrigerator while I was waiting on people to drop off things to the church so we had cold water for a funeral reception, I was over stepping and had offended a member. This comes flying at me after I had people write formal letters of complaint to my denominations oversight group because I wrote thank you notes last fall to members who returned...

 Another funeral story- I was asked to officiate a funeral for a person who didn't have a church. When the funeral director called to ask me to officiate, I was told that the family had been interesting to work with. The deceased had been taken to a different funeral home and then the living members had some issues with that funeral home. So the funeral director who called me had to go and claim the body off the other funeral homes table. This is not something that funeral directors want to do. Then I was told that the family is having issues with each other and was being fairly demanding. Not unusual.  When I met with the family, at the funeral home, I was told that they didn't really need "all that religious stuff," that a family member had written a song and someone else was reading a poem. Immediately after the service I was told that my services would no longer be needed, and I could leave and not stick around while the casket was prepared to be lowered into the ...

Yesterday I resigned from my current call as pastor. I have been with this congregation for 10 and a half months. When I interviewed, I knew that I would be accepting a position with a congregation that needed to do some work to revitalize itself and that was having some financial issues. But this is 2020/21 and what church isn’t having to discern both of these things? The folks I interviewed with told me of their hopes and dreams about going back to having a full-time pastor in 3-5 years, of restarting Sunday School, of wanting to try new things. They said that they had used the resources provided to them from the conference and that they were committed and just needed guidance. And while I want to believe that they were being honest during the interview process, the congregation’s behaviors tell a different story. Much was left up to me, and I’ll admit I over function at times so I’m not blameless, and there was no interest in people wanting to do the work. Sunday School: asking fo...

The following story is true. Names have been changed to protect individuals. For a Maundy Thursday service, I decided to move worship to the fellowship hall so we could have a meal during worship. As part of the service, we read scripture to move us through the events of the night as recorded in the Gospels. There were 12 readings throughout the service/meal so I had 12 candles lit on the table. As different readings were completed, someone was asked to extinguish a candle close to them. Because this was a new format for the service, the bulletins were printed differently. We started the service and get to the opening prayer. As I'm mid prayer, one congregant starts yelling the name of  another. I keep praying because I have no idea what's going on. I'm looking at people trying to figure out what's happening. This congregant never yells and definitely wouldn't be yelling at this person. Finally my congregant realizes we need more direction then him just yelling a na...

Funerals can bring out the best or the worst in people/families. Here's a story from a funeral that I can't make up. Note that this story is not from my current ministry setting and names and identifying information has been changed. I was asked to officiate a funeral for a family that wasn't connected to a church but wanted a minister. I met with the family before the funeral and learned I was only meeting part of the family and that there was some sort of rift between the adult children. I made a mental note but the family seemed to be okay. Fast forward to the day of the funeral. I arrive half way through the visitation before the service and check in with the funeral home and family and things seem to be okay. It's clear that there's a divide between the children but folks seem to be staying on their respected sides and behaving. The service goes off well and the casket gets loaded into the hearse. Family members get in their vehicles and I get in the hearse wit...

 So I haven't blogged in awhile. I just couldn't write about so much because it was too real and raw and just flat out hurt on so many levels. I'll share more about things as time goes on but not at the moment. So here's a brief life update. 2020 was a year that no one predicted. Covid 19 became a global pandemic. It meant that church had to be different because it wasn't safe to be around people for the year. Wearing facemasks and washing hands became a political issue - this I'm still trying to wrap my head around. Iowa experienced a derecho - a new word for me. It's basically an inland hurricane. The derecho devastated a lot of Iowa. Belle Plaine was without power for more than a week. I became the unofficial relief coordinator for the town and that expanded into surrounding areas. I'm really happy to not see a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for awhile but hey people got fed. I spent three weeks hosting various mission groups from the Seventh Day Ad...

I’m a minister and I care about ministerial credentials. This is partially why I enjoy my work on my association’s COM (Committee on Ministry - we work with those who have ministerial standing and those who are discerning a call to ministerial). I’d like to think that I’m fairly good at it. I have gone to college and seminary and keep up with certificates and continuing education yearly. I find this to be important because I want to be the best I can be and faith is constantly evolving along with the scholarship. So I am very bothered when I see colleagues who don’t do continuing education. I’m gravely concerned about people who think they can become pastors simply by going online and paying a fee or taking a one weekend class. I’m not saying that lay people, those who don’t go to seminary or divinity school, cannot become great, well rounded pastors. I fully support alternative routes to ministry and if I was looking at going into ministry today, I would probably use an alternative ...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

I have a confession: I will disappoint people as a pastor. This is a reality I live almost daily. I see it when I'm introduced by my last name and watch as a person's face falls when they realize I'm female. I see it in some folks who see my tattoos and shake their head in disapproval that I'd mark my body. I will disappoint people as a pastor because I will make a mistake and/or forget something. Yes I try to remember what I'm told on the fly, but my brain is not as good as it once was. Sunday mornings before and after worship are not always the best time to tell me things because my brain wrestles with many things. (Note - help your pastor out and write stuff down for us. We thank you in advance.) I will disappoint people by my choice to schedule time off when they feel that I should be present with them. While I personally, and many of my colleagues do the same, will attend to true crisis during our off time, others have different values, priorities and expec...

It's that time of year where every weekend, as you go out, you will hear the phrase "would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Girl Scout cookie season, loved by those of us who need our yearly "fix" and yet it is also one of the most despised times of the year by some Christian groups who want to protest the sales of Girl Scout cookies. Here's are two reasons for protesting Girl Scout cookies: Girl Scouts, along with many other non profit organizations, receive grant money from the United Way. Planned Parenthood also happens to receive money from United Way. Because of the this, groups who are anti-abortion believe that by buying Girl Scout cookies, it is money going to support Planned Parenthood. Second arguement is that we have lost our "Christian way" and we need to come back to being more faith based. So as a lifetime member of Girl Scouts (I'm celebrating 25 years of girl and adult membership - gee I'm old now), active leade...

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

  A pastor is first and foremost human. We generally love to walk with people on their journeys; births, relationships, baptisms, illnesses, deaths. But just as these events happen in non-church situations they happen in the life of your pastor. They may happen directly to us, it may be to "our people" - friends, family, those who support/love/care for us.     Church members/parishioners try to be there for us. Some of them are really good about being there for their pastors. Sometimes they really get things and know when we need a break/to cry/to laugh/to go home/etc. But at the end of the day, the reality is that pastors rarely can be that vulnerable with their church members. Sometimes its considered a boundaries violation to share their personal life with their church members. Other times a pastor has to be concerned about if sharing any personal information will come back later to be used against them. I know this sounds bad and it's not something I believe that ch...

            I am convinced that there are not many new ideas coming out. For the most part, folks take what already exists and put it in new packaging or reword a phrase or two and then say it’s new. Think about your cell phones. We’re bombarded with constant ads that we need new ones that are better somehow. Really it’s the same thing, just coming out of a new box.             At times, when we follow the Church year it feels like there’s nothing new. We move from one thing to the next because, as the Church, it’s what we do. The Church  doesn't  really think of time like we do in our everyday lives. Generally, we think of time in a linear fashion; there’s a beginning, middle and end. So it’s already a shift in thinking when the Church year, although it technically does have a beginning (first Sunday of Advent) and end (Christ the King Sunday), is a circle. With a perfect circle ...

Below is my contribution to the annual devotional booklet for Light a Candle for Children Prayer Vigil. Clearly I'm way behind in posting this but here it is. Friday, October 10, 2014 Seeing More than Stumbling Blocks Jeremiah 6:21 There are days I struggle to get tasks completed because I don’t understand them. It’s a blessing when one of the church children come up and magically move things or hit a button and things just work. Children see more than stumbling blocks and make a difference because they believe that they can do anything. They haven’t heard society tell them what/who they are or are not yet. Children have a unique way of seeing a different perspective. Jeremiah addressed God’s people, who often refused to change their hearts and see differently. It’s not the most loving thing to put a stumbling block in our way. But sometimes blocks help us to slow down and re-evaluate the situation. The Church has the blessing of children to let us see things in ne...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (...

Today I had lunch with 2 of my fellow clergy people in town. A complaint that I heard was that people in my generational range don't just accept theological concepts anymore (virgin birth, Jesus as fully human and fully divine, heaven vs. hell, etc). These 2 folks are older than I am but we all struggle with congregations that are dying rather than growing. I believe that this comment has more to do with the frustration clergy feel about each week seeing that the numbers aren't going up and the pews look more empty than ever than with my actual generation's view on theology. However this is an important comment to pay attention too. My generation today no longer has to rely on the educated few to impart theological information to the mass. You have a question or want to know why we say or do something, you are just 1 Google search away from having multiple sources available to you to find an answer. If you read more than 1 of the Google search results you may even find tha...

This past weekend the Indiana region of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) denomination voted to remove sexuality as one of the criteria they will use to say they recommend a candidate be ordained into Christian ministry. What this does do is allow individual congregations more freedom in ordaining who they see fit to ordain - a move to being true to the history of the denomination where each church is free to make it's own decisions. This statement is neither for or against the ordination of homosexual individuals. And while I'm happy that this is a step in the right direction, in the effort to find equality, I want the denomination to get on board with this discussion. I want to see the denomination, like others, stop saying that it is going to discern the issue of homosexuality and the life of the church and bring the issue up in a serious, balanced manner for talk and debate at the general/national level. I honestly see that this is an issue that needs to be discu...

Elisha: A Mantle of Faith [1] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explaining the space ·          Singing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [2] Once there was, a man named Elijah. He was a very old prophet. When it was about his time to go up to heaven, his successor, Elisha, went with him on a journey. Both men knew that soon Elijah would be gone. They walked through Jericho and Jordan . Finally, they crossed over the river Jordan . Elijah asked if there was anything that, he could do for Elisha. He asked for twice as much spirit that Elijah had. Just than an angel of the Lord came on a chariot and took Elijah up to heaven. Elisha was so moved that he tore off his mantle, outer coat. Then he picked up Elijah’s mantle and put it on. When people saw Elisha with Elijah’s mantle,...

So question to all of you parents out there: When is it okay for a non-parent person, me, step in and do some parenting? Let me give you an example: This past Friday night my mother and I were stopping at a store/restaurant to grab some dinner. We were at the end of the line and there was a couple that had three boys I'd say age 7 and younger that were running around getting into everything. The oldest two boys decided to run and jump at a lady, causing her to fall. This woman clearly had a medical diagnosis that limited her mobility. The boys did not say anything to the woman and went to playing in the cold display case. After helping the lady up and making sure she was okay my mother and I  looked to see if the parents were handling the situation. They were not, they were choosing to ignore their children's actions, who by this point were playing with glass drink bottles. Needless to say my mother and I had had enough and asked the two oldest boys to leave the drin...