Skip to main content

Stories from Ministry - Things You Can't Make Up

Funerals can bring out the best or the worst in people/families. Here's a story from a funeral that I can't make up. Note that this story is not from my current ministry setting and names and identifying information has been changed.

I was asked to officiate a funeral for a family that wasn't connected to a church but wanted a minister. I met with the family before the funeral and learned I was only meeting part of the family and that there was some sort of rift between the adult children. I made a mental note but the family seemed to be okay.

Fast forward to the day of the funeral. I arrive half way through the visitation before the service and check in with the funeral home and family and things seem to be okay. It's clear that there's a divide between the children but folks seem to be staying on their respected sides and behaving.

The service goes off well and the casket gets loaded into the hearse. Family members get in their vehicles and I get in the hearse with one of the funeral home employees. The police are there to lead the procession. Vehicles start to get in line when there's a complete stop. I thought that someone was forgetting something but no.

The next thing I see is one of the funeral home employees running towards the police and the car with all of the pallbearers emptying and heading towards cars behind me, taking off their suit coats and ties. The police officer reverses down the street with lights flashing. The funeral home employee locks the doors to the hearse. 

From inside the hearse, I watch in the hearse's mirror as two of the adult children are in their vehicles, refusing to yield to the other because both want to be the vehicle directly behind the hearse. Because of this failure to yield, both children had taken the front bumpers off of their vehicles. Each adult child had called and texted other family members and now it was getting ready to turn into a brawl in the street and funeral home driveway. The police officer was trying to keep the peace and get people back into their vehicles. I stayed hunkered down in the hearse with the funeral home employee and started to apologize to the deceased. What else do you do?

Eventually people got back in their vehicles and we were able to go to the cemetery and have the committal service. Some of the family didn't come, which probably wasn't a bad thing. 

Funeral procession bumper cars - grief gets people to do weird things.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...

Why the Minister has Fees

  As a minister I have the honor of performing rites and ceremonies for people at a variety of stages of life: baptisms, blessings, marriages, funerals, etc. I usually enjoy planning and leading these events. But lately I've had a rash of folks shocked that as a minister, I would have a fee to do some of these services. So lets talk about why I have fees.   To start with, if you are a member of my congregation you do get my services as a part of my contract with the congregation as long as they are spelled out in the contract. Generally if you're a member of the congregation I serve, it is expected that I will preform baptisms, blessings, funerals, weddings, etc for you because I want to remind you of God's continuous blessing in your life and especially at important moments in your life.   However some folks are shocked that there would be an honorarium suggested for the minister. The reality is that these blessings, weddings, funerals, etc. are extra work in our wee...

"And I Scream I'm Not Angry"

There's a Matchbox 20 song called "Angry." Part of the lyrics to the chorus are "and I scream that I'm not angry." It's a good song for when you're angry. But right now there is a burning furnace churning in my core and this song lyric does not fully capture my feelings. Maybe if I was going to sing/scream this in the privacy of my car it would be more along the lines of "and I scream that I'm not angry, I'm pissed as hell!!!" It has been a trying weekend. It is no longer good or healthy for me to be numb. It's time to fight is what comes out over and over again from my core. At the more "nicer" end of my spectrum of anger is just having a good old fashion temper tantrum - kicking, screaming and throwing myself in the floor. At the other end of my spectrum is me wanting to have my own "temple tantrum" similar to the one recorded in the Gospels - Jesus over turning the tables in the temple to make his point. ...