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Stories from Ministry - Things You Can't Make Up

Funerals can bring out the best or the worst in people/families. Here's a story from a funeral that I can't make up. Note that this story is not from my current ministry setting and names and identifying information has been changed.

I was asked to officiate a funeral for a family that wasn't connected to a church but wanted a minister. I met with the family before the funeral and learned I was only meeting part of the family and that there was some sort of rift between the adult children. I made a mental note but the family seemed to be okay.

Fast forward to the day of the funeral. I arrive half way through the visitation before the service and check in with the funeral home and family and things seem to be okay. It's clear that there's a divide between the children but folks seem to be staying on their respected sides and behaving.

The service goes off well and the casket gets loaded into the hearse. Family members get in their vehicles and I get in the hearse with one of the funeral home employees. The police are there to lead the procession. Vehicles start to get in line when there's a complete stop. I thought that someone was forgetting something but no.

The next thing I see is one of the funeral home employees running towards the police and the car with all of the pallbearers emptying and heading towards cars behind me, taking off their suit coats and ties. The police officer reverses down the street with lights flashing. The funeral home employee locks the doors to the hearse. 

From inside the hearse, I watch in the hearse's mirror as two of the adult children are in their vehicles, refusing to yield to the other because both want to be the vehicle directly behind the hearse. Because of this failure to yield, both children had taken the front bumpers off of their vehicles. Each adult child had called and texted other family members and now it was getting ready to turn into a brawl in the street and funeral home driveway. The police officer was trying to keep the peace and get people back into their vehicles. I stayed hunkered down in the hearse with the funeral home employee and started to apologize to the deceased. What else do you do?

Eventually people got back in their vehicles and we were able to go to the cemetery and have the committal service. Some of the family didn't come, which probably wasn't a bad thing. 

Funeral procession bumper cars - grief gets people to do weird things.

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