The World's Okayest Pastor

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

  This past week has been interesting to watch with the drama going on at the Rowan County courthouse in Kentucky. After SCOTUS' decision that bans on gay marrages were unconsitutional, Kim Davis, County Cleark - an elected offical, refused to issue any one a marriage license so not to discriminate because she believes that gay marriage is against her Christian beliefs.   After filing appeals and losing, Kim was sent to jail for contempt of court after still refusing to issue any marriage licenses. Couples could drive to a surrounding county courthouses to get a marriage license but a lawsuit was filed against Kim Davis and her office for refusing to comply with the law, orders from the govenor and the state attorney. Kim has spent several days in jail and she is still making the news, along with political candidates.   While I agree with Kim being sent to jail for failure to comply with the law and that she should either fulfill her duties she is paid to do by taxpayer...

Congratulations Class of 2015 and also to your families.  You've  made it to the finish line of high school. Next week you will receive your diplomas and will be officially adults by all standards. You’ll get the speeches that include hearing “The Giving Tree” and other stories to inspire you as you go about what the future holds for you. And while I could use this time to read you one of those inspirational stories, I’m not.           Instead I’m going to boil it all down for you. Our hopes, dreams and prayers for you all are really this; that you all will be decent human beings in all that you say, do and be. That  doesn't  seem to be that big of a task. But when we look back at scripture, the accounts of people trying to live a life that is faithful and aligns with God’s purpose for creating us, we see that it’s harder then we think. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there are times for everything. You will be c...

Tonight is one of those nights were I find I'm feeling bipolar. I'm attempting to write out plans for my job - a visioning process for a congregation to try to piece together where it sees its future. While my head and heart want to be 100% focused on this, I'm distracted by the thoughts about the vision of my life. While I was into Mary Kay (full disclosure - love the products, still technically a consultant but ugh) they were big on making goal posters - really vision posters. Each year, at least, we were asked to make these posters for what we wanted to achieve and to focus us on the year to come. It could be prizes to earn, vacations, homes, cars, outfits, etc. While there is nothing wrong with vision and goal posters as I reflect on how I feel about the goal/vision poster in my brain it's a mixture of things. There's part of me that feels inadequate because I'm still single, not the mom I hoped to be and not living and being as independent as I wanted to...

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye...

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the ...

Last week, I was a volunteer at Girl Scout Camp. I went so a camper, who has physical conditions, could attend camp and get the medical assistance she needed. What I was looking for was some time away, catch up on some reading, get a little sun and making sure this camper had a good time. What really happened was all of the above and then some. One the second day of camp after getting sun burned, smelling like pool water, sunscreen, sweat and random craft stuff that was on me, a camper came up to me and said "you're pretty." That's it. Simple and to the point. Then she went back to whatever she had been working on. I don't know what led her to come up to someone who was basically a stranger to her and say "you're pretty" but she did. Short, simple and with honesty that only a child can have. It was moving to hear those words. Those two words made my night, made the sunburn more then worth it. They made me feel more loved then I've felt in a l...

My post 2 days ago has been read and shared by several folks to thanks. I got asked a question about my response to the situation so here is why I blogged and why I took my time in posting it. 1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response. 2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and...

So a friend was going through and sharing some old pictures that I had taken and put on Facebook. So of course I went through my pictures on Facebook. Here's what I noticed: I take more pictures then I am in and if I'm in a picture this above sums up how I'm most often captured - hiding or running away. I don't stop to be in pictures and I honestly don't enjoy pictures. I'm much more comfortable taking the picture then being in one or hiding in the back row if I must be in one. But here's the scarier thing I'm realizing - I'm missing out on things by spending more time hiding from cameras. Since I don't want to be in a picture I'm often captured running away. I wanted to update my profile picture because it's going on 9 months and I don't have a picture to put up there. What message do I send out when I'm so uncomfortable being in front of the camera? Now I firmly believe that shoving a camera in one's face constantly is a...

I have a saying that my clients think is funny, if not repetitive at this point and my co-workers think is me just being sarcastic. But for me it seems to sum up the situation well. I find myself asked my clients "Do I have 'I'm stupid' tattooed across my forehead in ink I can't see?" I ask this in all seriousness when my clients start feeding me a line of complete and utter BS. And then in talking with a friend this afternoon we talked about having messages on us that say "please dump your shit on us." So that makes me wonder - what kinds of invisible ink do we all have scribbled over us? In certain places people think I'm stupid, in others oh she's a "Christian" - whatever that means. It is often easy to take on that invisible ink that others have written on to us and let it seep into our essence of being. It's too easy to allow people to write on us their own messages - full of values and assumptions - on us. And it's e...

The armor we choose to surround ourselves in is different for every person. It's there for reasons that are personal and sometimes deeply rooted. Some choose to only wear certain types of clothes. I know members of clergy that are so attached to their robes and collared shirts that you wonder if they sleep in them too.  Others hide behind a certain thing: their hair, their glasses, that certain makeup product, their title - you've met that person that's always their title then name. My armor is my size. I make it literally difficult for people to get close to me because I choose to maintain the size I am. Now I will never be a size 0, however, the size I am is an unhealthy armor. It keeps people from truly getting to know me. It's there as a bad coping skill - feel something and eat. When I don't fill my life with good it's pretty easy to fill myself with food in a vain attempt to feel something or to patch the cracks in my life. In all honesty this armor is p...

Sitting at lunch with my good friend/mentor/pastor/life journey person we noticed a young woman walking into a restaurant next door wearing a very bright jacket. The glow of the neon yellow couldn't help but catch our attentions. Most neon colors do just that - call out for attention. But what was interesting was that this young lady had an additional jacket on - not uncommon when the high for the day is 20 - that was black with a basic pattern. It was the ultimate "don't notice me" jacket. A walking example of the dualism that exists in our lives.This young lady wanted to be seen but at the same time not. Isn't this a visible example of how we are taught to live our lives. We should be seen and out there but at the same time we're told to be mysterious and subdue. Maybe this is more of a girl theme. But men/guys are told to be the macho men but yet go home and be this soft teddy bear. These two ideas stand in opposition to each other. It's not to say th...

If I wrote a book... I'm not sure it would make it to the non-fiction section in the bookstores. Some of the things that I have experienced/heard/witnessed too are just things you can't make up but sure sound like it (i.e. a co-worker trying to convince me that a pineapple becomes a watermelon or vice verse - either way it's still messed up). If I wrote a book... I'm not sure that I would know what to fill the pages up with. Would it be to pastoral? Would it be too sarcastic? Would it be too critical? Would it be too "churchy" so that people wouldn't want to read it? If I wrote a book... I'm not sure what I would title it. I don't like coming up with titles period so that would be a major struggle for me. How to be catchy and at the same time honest and real? Then what picture would go on the back for a picture of the author? Since I tend to find ways not to be in pictures maybe a picture of me holding up my hands to the lens would be fitting. ...

I just got back from walking in the Des Moines Area Hunger Hike. I haven't done it in about 11 years because I lived elsewhere but I used to do it every year in my youth. This year I was there as a team of myself. I listened to the speakers and then it was off and walking. I started out trying to find my place in the pack - finding where I could walk my pace without being in the way of others. I found myself walking along side of a grandfather who was pulling his grandson in a red wagon. We smiled and acknowledged each other's presence and then continued walking along, joined for a moment in this shared concern. We we crossed streets I noticed something that renewed my faith in good and humanity. Not all of the places we crossed had dips in the sidewalk. The grandfather would start to slow down to gently pull the wagon with his grandson and folks would just come along and pick up the wagon and set it down so the grandson wouldn't be bounced out or knocked around. We'd g...

The Loving Kindness Tour came to Des Moines last weekend and I went each day the exhibit was open. It is a traveling educational experience about buddha relics and an offering of the key principles of Buddhism - nay most major religions of the world - to show love and kindness to all. There was a video to explain the process of collecting relics and how the tour came to be. There's room to meditate and receive a blessing. You can see the relics and practice different techniques like writing in gold the words of the Buddha, singing bowls, prayer wheels, etc. I went the first night thinking that would be my one time visiting the tour. But the moment I came close to the building housing the exhibit, the energy called me and enveloped me. I was at home there. I was surrounded by a couple hundred people I didn't know but I was at home. I was connected to the relics of the historical first buddha and the buddha we all know and understand. I was connected to the relics and life force ...