The World's Okayest Pastor

As a pastor, folks feel the need to share things with me, whether they are appropriate or not. A common phrase I've heard off and on during my ministry, and it has gained a grand reprise now that I am the last of my siblings to be single, is "pastor, when are you going to get married?" My most "favorite" incarnation of this came when the church board was asking about my insurance coverage and it was suggested that I should get married to a guy who has a good plan I could join. Creative...maybe. Had that thought crossed my mind? Yes but I also never said that out loud and never planned on that being a solution. So if folks really want to know when I'm going to get married here is the long answer: I will get marred when I find the right person to marry. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am fat and an ordained minister. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am not here to be a challe...

  This past week has been interesting to watch with the drama going on at the Rowan County courthouse in Kentucky. After SCOTUS' decision that bans on gay marrages were unconsitutional, Kim Davis, County Cleark - an elected offical, refused to issue any one a marriage license so not to discriminate because she believes that gay marriage is against her Christian beliefs.   After filing appeals and losing, Kim was sent to jail for contempt of court after still refusing to issue any marriage licenses. Couples could drive to a surrounding county courthouses to get a marriage license but a lawsuit was filed against Kim Davis and her office for refusing to comply with the law, orders from the govenor and the state attorney. Kim has spent several days in jail and she is still making the news, along with political candidates.   While I agree with Kim being sent to jail for failure to comply with the law and that she should either fulfill her duties she is paid to do by taxpayer...

  As a minister I have the honor of performing rites and ceremonies for people at a variety of stages of life: baptisms, blessings, marriages, funerals, etc. I usually enjoy planning and leading these events. But lately I've had a rash of folks shocked that as a minister, I would have a fee to do some of these services. So lets talk about why I have fees.   To start with, if you are a member of my congregation you do get my services as a part of my contract with the congregation as long as they are spelled out in the contract. Generally if you're a member of the congregation I serve, it is expected that I will preform baptisms, blessings, funerals, weddings, etc for you because I want to remind you of God's continuous blessing in your life and especially at important moments in your life.   However some folks are shocked that there would be an honorarium suggested for the minister. The reality is that these blessings, weddings, funerals, etc. are extra work in our wee...

What follows below is a paper I wrote for a worship class on weddings from 2008. I'm happy to say that civil unions (same sex marriage) is now legal in 19 states, the federal government has agreed to recognize all civil unions and DOMA laws are now being legal challenged in all of the states that have not allowed same sex marriage.            As one stands in line at the grocery check out line, you will find at least one magazine devoted to marriage, specifically brides. There’s usually a picture of the happy bride, sometimes with the groom, with headlines such as how to have a grand wedding for only a grand and so on. Young children are encouraged to play out fantasies about getting married with dolls [1] . Marriage in the United States has become a vast marketing opportunity, which is a multi-million dollar a year industry. The Church has to rethink what is appropriate. The American Church has to find ways to bridge the function of the state and t...

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur...