The World's Okayest Pastor

They say "grief is a funny thing." While sometimes funny things happen as part of the grief process, I'm not sure I buy into this saying.  Recently, a colleague died unexpectedly, leaving behind a partner, two adult kids and countless friends, colleagues and others. Many people are in shock and grieving the surprise of this person's death. Others are feeling some relief and PTSD as their lived experience of this person has been different from others. Watching the social media posts roll in and seeing people go at it in the comments breaks my heart a bit. Most of the comments have been about sorrow and how good this person was. Other people have chosen not to share anything and a few have expressed that they feel a relief or even sorrow because this person is not going to be held accountable for their actions against them. And people are attacking those who have not had positive experiences with this individual. As someone who has attended hundreds of deaths and offici...

Funerals can bring out the best or the worst in people/families. Here's a story from a funeral that I can't make up. Note that this story is not from my current ministry setting and names and identifying information has been changed. I was asked to officiate a funeral for a family that wasn't connected to a church but wanted a minister. I met with the family before the funeral and learned I was only meeting part of the family and that there was some sort of rift between the adult children. I made a mental note but the family seemed to be okay. Fast forward to the day of the funeral. I arrive half way through the visitation before the service and check in with the funeral home and family and things seem to be okay. It's clear that there's a divide between the children but folks seem to be staying on their respected sides and behaving. The service goes off well and the casket gets loaded into the hearse. Family members get in their vehicles and I get in the hearse wit...