The World's Okayest Pastor

During the early part of the 2018 election cycle, one of my friends ran for an office. They had a results party at a gay bar in the closest big town. I have been to other events at this bar because it has hosted public events that match my call for social justice and public ministry. Afterwards, several people just assumed that because I knew this bar and was comfortable being there, that I identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I don’t. I identify as a cisgender, white female who is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. So at best I am a welcomed outsider but I am an outsider to this community. Once people got to know me better, folks started to apologize to me for labeling as part of the LGBTQ+ community.  My response was it wasn’t a big deal to me and I don’t really care that I was labeled as such. Some people accepted this but others seemed taken aback because I didn’t have a strong response of concern about being mis-labeled.  As I w...

Another mass shooting, this time in Las Vegas. A man shoots people attending an outdoor concert, over 200 wounded, over 50 dead. And I’m tired of praying about these events. Sounds odd coming from a pastor doesn’t it? But that’s where I am with all of the massive gun violence problem in America today. I am tired of having to pray for the victims, their families, and all of the responders and medical professionals who are effected with each of these shootings. I’m tired of having to pray with and offer support to individuals, for whom these events are triggers and others who are becoming more and more fearful of society. The reality is, I won’t stop praying about these situations and the laundry list of other issues and topics on my list. But what I really want to see and experience in America is some real movement to address these problems. I want to see America do things that are proven to help reduce gun violence. I want to see America make policies that increase access to suppor...

As a pastor, folks feel the need to share things with me, whether they are appropriate or not. A common phrase I've heard off and on during my ministry, and it has gained a grand reprise now that I am the last of my siblings to be single, is "pastor, when are you going to get married?" My most "favorite" incarnation of this came when the church board was asking about my insurance coverage and it was suggested that I should get married to a guy who has a good plan I could join. Creative...maybe. Had that thought crossed my mind? Yes but I also never said that out loud and never planned on that being a solution. So if folks really want to know when I'm going to get married here is the long answer: I will get marred when I find the right person to marry. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am fat and an ordained minister. The right person will be a man who can handle and respect the fact that I am not here to be a challe...

With the election of 45 as the leader of the free world, there has been a resurgence of pro-life. With plans to reform the Affordable Care Act (ACA or more properly known as Obamacare) and the state of Iowa attempting to reform Medicaid, folks have been rallying to cut funding from healthcare providers that offer full women's health services, including abortions. Planned Parenthood has been the main target of these rallies, despite the fact that no federal or state funds can be used to pay for abortion services. But I digress from the point of this blog. There has been a call for folks to rally around being Pro-Life in the political sphere. What I find interesting and puzzling at the same time, is that the same people who insist that life starts at the moment of conception and all babies must be born, despite who they were created or if they're wanted also argue that we need to cut funding for social programs that include but are not limited too: Head Start, senior meal progr...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

I have a confession: I will disappoint people as a pastor. This is a reality I live almost daily. I see it when I'm introduced by my last name and watch as a person's face falls when they realize I'm female. I see it in some folks who see my tattoos and shake their head in disapproval that I'd mark my body. I will disappoint people as a pastor because I will make a mistake and/or forget something. Yes I try to remember what I'm told on the fly, but my brain is not as good as it once was. Sunday mornings before and after worship are not always the best time to tell me things because my brain wrestles with many things. (Note - help your pastor out and write stuff down for us. We thank you in advance.) I will disappoint people by my choice to schedule time off when they feel that I should be present with them. While I personally, and many of my colleagues do the same, will attend to true crisis during our off time, others have different values, priorities and expec...

  The “war on Christmas” has begun. Or at least that’s what some Christians want us to think. Because  Starbucks , a company that has never claimed to be Christian, chose to have red cups without snowflakes, Santa or reindeer on them (just a reminder that none of those are Christian symbols), there is a "war on Christmas."   Once the “cup controversy” hit the news, old articles and videos came back about how using the abbreviation “Xmas” was anti Christmas and Christian. To address the "Xmas controversy," let’s learn a little Greek. X or “Chi” is the first Greek letter used in spelling “Christ” and is a common Christian symbol representing Jesus Christ. Therefore Xmas is Christian and appropriate for Christmas.   But regardless of what we choose to learn and teach about what’s Christian or not, I’d like to pose two bigger questions: why does the color of a coffee cup mean a person’s faith is being questioned and why do Christians feel that just because...

This week's Vanity Fair cover is the public debut pictures of Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce. The ESPY's announced that Caitlyn would be receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage Award this year. What has followed as been interesting and disturbing to watch. Caitlyn has gotten a lot of attention for being "beautiful." And while she is very beautiful, why is it that all people can describe her as is beautiful or that's the starting point? Why does being a woman equal a social understanding of what is to be beautiful? What about using words like courageous, loving, smart, devoted, strong, etc.? A woman is more than what society deems as beautiful or pretty but that seems to be all society focuses on. Who doesn't like to feel and look beautiful but that's not the main thing that should define a person. Hey society lets expand our descriptions of people, and women in particular, past looks? Now lets talk about courage - there has been a backlash about why...

            I am convinced that there are not many new ideas coming out. For the most part, folks take what already exists and put it in new packaging or reword a phrase or two and then say it’s new. Think about your cell phones. We’re bombarded with constant ads that we need new ones that are better somehow. Really it’s the same thing, just coming out of a new box.             At times, when we follow the Church year it feels like there’s nothing new. We move from one thing to the next because, as the Church, it’s what we do. The Church  doesn't  really think of time like we do in our everyday lives. Generally, we think of time in a linear fashion; there’s a beginning, middle and end. So it’s already a shift in thinking when the Church year, although it technically does have a beginning (first Sunday of Advent) and end (Christ the King Sunday), is a circle. With a perfect circle ...

Below is a link to a Buzzfeed article written by one of my classmates from my undergrad school. Here's my take on what I remember during my 4 years there (2000-2004): - Confederate flags hung from dorm room windows. People had it as bumper stickers, wore it on shirts, etc. - Jefferson Davis and Henry Clay have several connections to the school, both have male dorms named after them. - Old South Week (part of the KA - Kappa Alpha - fraternity traditions) happened every year I was there. - I saw men wearing Confederate solider uniforms and women wearing their finest hoop skirts walk across the campus to attend a ball. - Every year on at the beginning of Old South Week, around midnight, the KA's lined up across from the women's main dorm, Forrer Hall, and sang their songs, one of which was "Dixie" at the top of their lungs. Every year, I watched the stupidity of the drunken brothers (not all were drunk but a good portion were) sing and chant until campus securit...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

CADCA (Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America) held its annual Forum in Washington DC February 2-5. Every year coalitions from all 50 states and several US territories come together to share their ideas, stories, petition Congress for continued support and to learn about the changing trends on the topics of substance abuse. I was very fortunate that I was able to attend this year. My focus was on prescription and OTC (over-the-counter) drug abuse, especially with youth. I attended many workshops on the issue and all of the attendees heard from the current and past drug czars. While illegal drugs, alcohol, and tobacco use are still very much an issue, prescription and OTC drug use is on the rise. Why? Because the ease of availability. Think about your own home for a moment - where do you keep your bottle of pain reliever? Do you have cold/cough/flu medications in your home? Where do you keep your medications? Are they locked up? I know the answer in my home and many others i...

Ferguson, MO is a hot bed of conversation right now. Last week, a youth was shot by police. The investigation into the situation is currently underway. Society is now polarized as being for the youth or for the police. Here is what I know - an investigation is still underway. Society and the media don't know every thing that happened. Patience and non-violence need to be demonstrated as we look for the truth and try to understand this situation before judgement is waged. My heart breaks for this situation. But I have to believe that we can look at the bigger picture. The fact is that the police in this community have a long history of being excessive in their force in dealing with the community. Many folks in this community have felt that the are lesser than others in the community. The fact is that police are trained to shoot at a critical mass (chest and head) area when forced to shoot at a suspect. Other countries train their police to shot when they feel their lives are endan...

Next week is the yearly main fundraiser where I work. It's a yearly event that's been going on for a couple of years. At the beginning of the month the group in charge of planning met again to go over details. Plans were made, volunteers gathers and things were agreed upon. This past Sunday, 2 people (1 who was at this meeting and 1 who wasn't) decided to undo everything that was agreed upon. When I remind these folks that things were already decided upon by a group and people had a plan, they pretty much decided that they didn't care and were going ahead with their plans. This has become a fundraiser that has cost more than it's brought in because of these types of issues. They run off people, they're not welcoming and they can't make a commitment to follow a plan and micro-manage everything. I just have to believe that things don't need to be this complicated. I believe so often folks feel the need to try to gain some sense of control and power, that...

Yesterday Flight MH 17 was shot down over Ukraine. I am saddened and heart sick that this is the level the world needs to go to in order to gain some fleeting feeling of control. I have, am and will continue to pray for those who died and are affected by this tragic event. But what makes me concerned is that from the moment that word hit "the wire" that there was a plane crash, the media was "breaking into" programs to broadcast images and tweets from Twitter about what may or may not have happened. It's not that I'm worried about the news bulletin that the crash happened. I'm most concerned that before any one knew what had happened speculation was being flung around as news. I'm concerned that we had to spend hours looking at the broadcast of black smoke. Folks died, people are mourning - how is this honoring those lives? How is this responsible reporting? A popular response to these concerns is "well turn off the TV." Guess what, I d...

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye...

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur...

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the ...

I have been asked, several times and in several different contexts, why I am the way that I am. As much as I wish that the answer of "I am a combination of DNA, social norms and mores and life experiences and life lessons" was enough. And well that is the short answer, it is rarely enough to fully answer that question. But what I find that's just as important as the question is the reason that the question is asked. Is it because I do not fit stereotypes or preconceived notions of who another thinks I should be? Does this person really want to get to know me on a deeper level? Is it an interview question? I believe that there are multiple reasons for why I've been asked this question, some with good intent and others not so much. So why does this question matter? I think part of it is about trying to understand the unexplainable. But I have to wonder why the question needs to be asked. Why not let someone be who they are? Why not honor the person as they are, wher...

Having done my fair share of working in retail. With my current job it's not uncommon to make several trips (max I've hit is 5) in the same day to the store to take people shopping. So I'm generally not a fan of going back to the store after work. I ventured out on Saturday to go grocery shopping with my mom after work. While she shopped I walked around, getting a few things I needed for events upcoming, looking at the randomness that is holiday stuff. And then I started to listening to others were saying around me. Some were talking to children, others family and friends and then there was the "take a guess" crowd who were glued to their cell phones.The over arching theme of all of the conversations was this: I have to do this. I have to make this. We need this. We have to be here. We have to see all of these different places. What I found myself wanting to scream was "it all doesn't matter!" "It all doesn't matter." The business, th...