The armor we choose to surround ourselves in

The armor we choose to surround ourselves in is different for every person. It's there for reasons that are personal and sometimes deeply rooted. Some choose to only wear certain types of clothes. I know members of clergy that are so attached to their robes and collared shirts that you wonder if they sleep in them too.  Others hide behind a certain thing: their hair, their glasses, that certain makeup product, their title - you've met that person that's always their title then name. My armor is my size. I make it literally difficult for people to get close to me because I choose to maintain the size I am. Now I will never be a size 0, however, the size I am is an unhealthy armor. It keeps people from truly getting to know me. It's there as a bad coping skill - feel something and eat. When I don't fill my life with good it's pretty easy to fill myself with food in a vain attempt to feel something or to patch the cracks in my life.

In all honesty this armor is punishment. Think about it - armor is heavy and restrictive. You can't move freely. You're intentionally slowed. And while it seems to be like a good thing in the beginning, in the long run it hurts you. Armor is not comfortable - it atrophies your muscles when you never take it off. Some thing happens with your heart when you wear emotional armor all of the time. But as science as demonstrated the muscles can relearn things and so can our emotional self. We do no have to continue wearing the same emotional armor. Our emotional self can learn a new way to be. It's not an overnight fix. It's something that will take what will feel like constant, intentional practice.