Skip to main content

The armor we choose to surround ourselves in

The armor we choose to surround ourselves in is different for every person. It's there for reasons that are personal and sometimes deeply rooted. Some choose to only wear certain types of clothes. I know members of clergy that are so attached to their robes and collared shirts that you wonder if they sleep in them too.  Others hide behind a certain thing: their hair, their glasses, that certain makeup product, their title - you've met that person that's always their title then name. My armor is my size. I make it literally difficult for people to get close to me because I choose to maintain the size I am. Now I will never be a size 0, however, the size I am is an unhealthy armor. It keeps people from truly getting to know me. It's there as a bad coping skill - feel something and eat. When I don't fill my life with good it's pretty easy to fill myself with food in a vain attempt to feel something or to patch the cracks in my life.

In all honesty this armor is punishment. Think about it - armor is heavy and restrictive. You can't move freely. You're intentionally slowed. And while it seems to be like a good thing in the beginning, in the long run it hurts you. Armor is not comfortable - it atrophies your muscles when you never take it off. Some thing happens with your heart when you wear emotional armor all of the time. But as science as demonstrated the muscles can relearn things and so can our emotional self. We do no have to continue wearing the same emotional armor. Our emotional self can learn a new way to be. It's not an overnight fix. It's something that will take what will feel like constant, intentional practice.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Day in the Life: A Minister and Forgiveness

 I shared in one of my last blogs that I had complaints lodged against me by a small group in my congregation. Most seem to have moved on after our group meeting, where I apologized for a lot of things - probably more then I should have had too. But I'm the professional in those settings so I did it.  I'm not being told, second hand, that two of those in that meeting want a one on one apology from me because what I said in the meeting wasn't good enough. This is the couple who cursed in my church, have flat out lied about me and have repeatedly stated that the only outcome they're willing to accept is my termination.  Let me explain why I won't be having a one on one meeting with this couple and I won't be giving any more apologies. First, lets start with the apology part. I have apologized for my actions - maybe my misinterpretations is a better term. Based off of their actions and words, I communicated with the proper board/committee and asked for consensus ab...
Post a Comment
Read more

February 2025 Clergy Life Glimpses

February 2025 feels like it's been the longest year ever. The state of the US government is just scary and getting worse and worse by the hour. As a cis-gender, white, middle age, female I know I have more agency and power then many. I can't know what my siblings of God are feeling and dealing with during this time when their existence is literally being erased by the US government and they're being told they're flawed and have no rights to even exist. Although there are grassroot efforts to fight the orange one's executive orders, I fear we are following the Hitler playbook and there are not enough people on the right who will stand up against our president and his regime.  It has been hard to write an update on daily or even semi regular "days in the life of a pastor." Finding words that speak to as many as possible because I work in a purple congregation takes time and energy that I am running low on. And then on a more personal professional note: being...
Post a Comment
Read more