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A Broken Record

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (small town makes it easy to catch the rumors). So why is the Spirit telling me I'm being a broken record, repeating myself. Is it because I myself am broken? Is it because I need to live into these words that I speak? Is it that there's something else the Spirit wants me to hear/speak and this other stuff is blocking the way? Are these just things that this community needs to hear over and over so it can be fully absorbed into them and then breathed and lived out? I don't have the answers to this. It could be one of these questions, it could be all of them. I pray that I learn to lean into this time of questioning/searching/listening/praying/being and learn to know and trust that God is and will be working in and through this.

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