Skip to main content

"Til now I always got by on my own"

One of the songs that I thought that I tended to live by is Heart's "Alone." You know the power ballad of "til now I always got by on my own." Good song to sing too. But alas...I think I'm starting to embrace it more then I want to admit. I've prided myself on being an independent person. I know enough to get myself in and out of trouble - hence probably how I've master duct tape. But as I spend about the next 3 weeks house and dog sitting I'm starting to realize how alone I am not. I tend to spend a lot of my time being around people. I sit at coffee shops to do my work, get my caffeine addiction needs met and to be around people. I spend a lot of time checking Facebook so I can see what everyone is doing. I used to think that I could be fine without being around people. But less the 48 hours into my 3 weeks sitting at the house with 3 snoozing puppies makes me uncomfortable. TV and studying only take up so much time. Chores...well that's not all the fun. The puppies can only handle so many walks for certain distances. So I'm left with myself...the things that roll through my head. The past messages I've heard all stuck in my brain playing endlessly. It gets to be noisy after awhile of listening to myself. It gets to be exhausting trying to argue with myself that some of the things I hear in my head, these old tapes, are not valid anymore...they're not me. Which leads me to wonder the next logical question of who is Kate? Ugh. It's frustrating...it's tiring. This is probably why after an hour of meditation and quiet time that I'm ready for a nap. It's interesting that although I thought I was alone I'm not. I carry with my so much crap from others that I'm rarely alone. I'm caught up in other people's stuff. Maybe some day I'll figure out what being alone is really all about.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Day in the Life: A Minister and Forgiveness

 I shared in one of my last blogs that I had complaints lodged against me by a small group in my congregation. Most seem to have moved on after our group meeting, where I apologized for a lot of things - probably more then I should have had too. But I'm the professional in those settings so I did it.  I'm not being told, second hand, that two of those in that meeting want a one on one apology from me because what I said in the meeting wasn't good enough. This is the couple who cursed in my church, have flat out lied about me and have repeatedly stated that the only outcome they're willing to accept is my termination.  Let me explain why I won't be having a one on one meeting with this couple and I won't be giving any more apologies. First, lets start with the apology part. I have apologized for my actions - maybe my misinterpretations is a better term. Based off of their actions and words, I communicated with the proper board/committee and asked for consensus ab...
Post a Comment
Read more

First World Problems

I'm blessed, if you're reading this you're blessed. The more I do intra-personal work and the more I listen and read other's stories and share in their journeys the more I realize I'm plagued by first world problems. Oh my cell phone is shutting itself on and off - and it's borderline panic time. Gas prices went up again. I can choose to boycott various restaurant chains. We can fit about what color the new carpet should be. And while these seem like big problems - the fact of the matter is that it is a privilege to even have these "problems" in the first place. The fact of the matter is I, and dare I say American society, spend too much time fighting and debating these small problems. The reality is there are much bigger issues to tackle - poverty, hunger, lack of basic needs, lack of education, lack of health care, discrimination. To paraphrase the words of a wise Biblical Scholar - if people, the world, focused on these bigger issues then we wouldn...
Post a Comment
Read more