Skip to main content

Home comes from within

Home, it comes from within a wise person told me recently. That's a notion I struggle with. For so many home is a physical place. Maybe you lived there for your whole childhood, maybe it's a place where you had a major life event or two. Maybe it's the places where you felt at peace and rooted. Right now I feel like I embody the song "Motherless Child" - a very long way from home. I do not feel connected to a place. Kentucky was home for 9 solid years but when I left and then went back it clearly was not home. Des Moines is my hometown on paper. Lived there since I was 2. It's the place I've come back to when needing to regroup. May parents and brother are there. My sister is not that far away. But it doesn't feel like home. I feel like a visitor in others' space. I don't see myself being here for an extended period of time, which is not all a bad thing either. So if I don't feel connected to a place then maybe my opening sentence needs further exploration. Home comes from within - feeling rooted to that energy/spark/brahma within yourself.  How does one get into better connection with that inner energy? How does one get rooted in one's self. I've been a fan of mediation and journaling for years now. Both are good starts but both have to be done in honest ways. One has to be honest when doing both -truly acknowledging the feelings and emotions that come and go. Being real with myself in those times of quiet and really engage myself of really working at acknowledging this things, letting them speak to me with what needs to be said and then letting them go and pass on through. This is home within. For me it's a work in progress. Some days are better then others. I'll share more as I work on this. To find home within - a long journey of a lifetime.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...

"And I Scream I'm Not Angry"

There's a Matchbox 20 song called "Angry." Part of the lyrics to the chorus are "and I scream that I'm not angry." It's a good song for when you're angry. But right now there is a burning furnace churning in my core and this song lyric does not fully capture my feelings. Maybe if I was going to sing/scream this in the privacy of my car it would be more along the lines of "and I scream that I'm not angry, I'm pissed as hell!!!" It has been a trying weekend. It is no longer good or healthy for me to be numb. It's time to fight is what comes out over and over again from my core. At the more "nicer" end of my spectrum of anger is just having a good old fashion temper tantrum - kicking, screaming and throwing myself in the floor. At the other end of my spectrum is me wanting to have my own "temple tantrum" similar to the one recorded in the Gospels - Jesus over turning the tables in the temple to make his point. ...

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...