I tend to be nomadic in my life so my car is my sanctuary. Probably my need for control also explains why I look around my car and all I see is a mess of stuff every where. There's full and empty pop cans and bottles, books, papers, clothes and other stuff. It's pretty much an explosion of the things that I do and how I try to avoid things. I try to keep my life so full of stuff that I can avoid dealing with things that are truly important. Or there's also my other favorite technique of putting stuff in the backseat so I can get to it later and then I bury it with more crap and garbage. So as I spent time cleaning out my car over the last couple of days. Still have work to do on the car and that's very much like my life. It's not the most fun thing in the world to do to clean up your life. It's often something that you do and then it's very easy to trash again. Maybe someday my car will get clean. I know my life will never be the shining pretty thing that dreams are made of but I know it can be a little less messy and that is what I strive for.
Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...
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