I'm a person that tends to live out of my heart. In the Enegram I'm a 3w2 for those that know what that means. I tend to lead and act from my emotions. This has some blessings but also some curses. While I'm often able to pick up on others feelings and tend to be able to sympathize and empathize with others it also means that I tend to take things said to heart, deeply into my heart. To be more specific I tend to take the critics and negative said about me to heart and forget about the postive things or I tend to write them off as just fluff. That's where I find myself as I write this...living in my heart and taking the negative things said to me to heart and feeling the overwhelming urge to ball my eyes out, which I've done several times recently. The energy is off. I wish I could be different at times. Maybe live in my brain. But alas I am who I am, firmly and undeniably rooted in the heart. Sometimes it feels okay to live here and others it doesn't. It does help other heart people notice my energy is off and to know when I need support, encouragement and love - and that is one of the blessings of living in the heart. But today my friends I wish my heart would stop feeling for a bit and that I could rid myself of some of the other "stuff." Living in the heart - a blessing I hope that continues to be revealed.
For new readers and those who don't know me, I'm fat. Medically labeled "morbidly obese." I have always been fat since I can remember. It's a multifaceted part of my reality: it's part my choice, part genetics. I am well aware that I need to work on this. I'm reminded every time I go to the doctor: need a flu shot - you're fat. Have an ear infection - you're fat. Cat bite - discharge instructions start with you're morbidly obese (I'm not kidding). You lost weight and still think something's off - loose more weight. I have been working on addressing my weight and have managed to loose and keep off just under 80 pounds. Do I still have a lot more weight to loose? Yup. I didn't become this size overnight and taking this off won't happen overnight either. A few weeks ago, a friend stopped by to visit me on their journey to vacation. As they were preparing to leave, I get stopped and asked to sit. I was told that they're concerne...
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