I'm a person that tends to live out of my heart. In the Enegram I'm a 3w2 for those that know what that means. I tend to lead and act from my emotions. This has some blessings but also some curses. While I'm often able to pick up on others feelings and tend to be able to sympathize and empathize with others it also means that I tend to take things said to heart, deeply into my heart. To be more specific I tend to take the critics and negative said about me to heart and forget about the postive things or I tend to write them off as just fluff. That's where I find myself as I write this...living in my heart and taking the negative things said to me to heart and feeling the overwhelming urge to ball my eyes out, which I've done several times recently. The energy is off. I wish I could be different at times. Maybe live in my brain. But alas I am who I am, firmly and undeniably rooted in the heart. Sometimes it feels okay to live here and others it doesn't. It does help other heart people notice my energy is off and to know when I need support, encouragement and love - and that is one of the blessings of living in the heart. But today my friends I wish my heart would stop feeling for a bit and that I could rid myself of some of the other "stuff." Living in the heart - a blessing I hope that continues to be revealed.
Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...
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