So I took several days off from writing here or in my personal life. I originally thought that it was because I didn't have anything to write about - that maybe I'd gone numb. Maybe things, for personal reasons, had become tainted. But upon further reflection the first is not true at all and the second is a half truth - true as it was an avoidance technique. Truth is there's a lot going on but words don't fit it all. It's hard to explain other then there's a need to just feel and acknowledge the things in the world that are not tangible. Energy/Energies are all about us and impact us. We can choose to accept it or attempt to ignore or fight it. I couldn't name it, I couldn't say exactly what it was at first. It was something I felt - in the gut, the core of my being. It's not just one thing or person - it's several things. I know that it's a signal of something - something to come maybe, something from the past maybe. I'm not sure what all it means but I know there's more to come out of this.
For new readers and those who don't know me, I'm fat. Medically labeled "morbidly obese." I have always been fat since I can remember. It's a multifaceted part of my reality: it's part my choice, part genetics. I am well aware that I need to work on this. I'm reminded every time I go to the doctor: need a flu shot - you're fat. Have an ear infection - you're fat. Cat bite - discharge instructions start with you're morbidly obese (I'm not kidding). You lost weight and still think something's off - loose more weight. I have been working on addressing my weight and have managed to loose and keep off just under 80 pounds. Do I still have a lot more weight to loose? Yup. I didn't become this size overnight and taking this off won't happen overnight either. A few weeks ago, a friend stopped by to visit me on their journey to vacation. As they were preparing to leave, I get stopped and asked to sit. I was told that they're concerne...
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