The World's Okayest Pastor

12/14/12  - another horrible day. A 20 year old man walks into an elementary school and opens fire. Young children and teachers killed before the young man takes his own life. American TV rushes to cover the story - to get the first break in the story, to show the first pictures of people weeping. At the same time around the world a man walks into a school in China stabs 22 young children. A small blurb is put out in America. This leads to ask the question - how narrow minded are we in America that we can only focus on stuff in our own culture. Can't both groups mourn together? Can't we pray for both groups together? Can't we offer prayer vigils for both? I sometimes want to tell people who say that they don't understand why America isn't loved around the world that these are part of the reason why. We think the whole planet revolves around us. We think God has only favored America and we teach that even if we don't realize it when we say the phrase "God Bl...

If you hadn't noticed I haven't spent much time blogging in November or December. It's partly because I work too many hours. The other reason is because it's the part of my I call the self protector coming out. It's the part of you that convinces the rest of you that you're okay, you're fine and you just keep going along with life. The self protector adds the layers of tape to attempt to hold yourself together. That part is doing this work because it knows that if and when you break, crack or even think about your brokenness you finally realize you're not okay that you will finally feel. You'll finally experience that hurt and pain you've been dragging around. You'll realize that you're not whole/holy and you hurt and it hurts deep and to the core. It's that self protector that says just be numb. You might not realize that the self protector is at work because you don't recognize that you're not feeling. It's kind of a vac...

I struggle with the concept of being responsible. I have never lacked at being the responsible one in many situations. My OCD tendencies and leadership style tend to suit me being the responsible person in situations. However, when it comes to life I find that I tend to let my responsible self dominate the rest of my life. If you think of a person being made of a variety of parts that could be seen as individual people that all sit in a circle. As whole they make you up and should work to keep you in balance. There's the lover, fighter, career person, responsible person, the higher self, the inner critic, so on and so on. It is easy to get out of balance in this group. One person will tend to come to the fore front and for me right now it's the responsible one. While not always a bad thing to be responsible, when that is your dominate mode of operation balance is lost. The whole self loses touch with the things that ground and refresh a person. They lose sight of the joy in cre...

Today is the day after "the day" in American politics. We've voted and most of those votes have been counted. If you hadn't noticed I fell silent for some time - Facebook statuses became fewer and more far between and I haven't blogged in weeks. Why - because I felt that I couldn't be responsible for putting out any other message at a time when there were so many messages being shoved down our throats as a society. Whatever side you align yourself with, I think we can agree that we were targeted by ads, status updates, news feeds and conversations. It made my brain turn to mush. It made my head and more importantly my heart hurt. I know we are a broken world. My profession I'm trained in is based on that there is need for healing in this world. However, I felt that we, American society, have gone to a new low. No one truly won in this mess of a political system. I admit we need some form of government and I'm thankful I have the freedom I do have. Howe...

I'm blessed, if you're reading this you're blessed. The more I do intra-personal work and the more I listen and read other's stories and share in their journeys the more I realize I'm plagued by first world problems. Oh my cell phone is shutting itself on and off - and it's borderline panic time. Gas prices went up again. I can choose to boycott various restaurant chains. We can fit about what color the new carpet should be. And while these seem like big problems - the fact of the matter is that it is a privilege to even have these "problems" in the first place. The fact of the matter is I, and dare I say American society, spend too much time fighting and debating these small problems. The reality is there are much bigger issues to tackle - poverty, hunger, lack of basic needs, lack of education, lack of health care, discrimination. To paraphrase the words of a wise Biblical Scholar - if people, the world, focused on these bigger issues then we wouldn...

I just got back from walking in the Des Moines Area Hunger Hike. I haven't done it in about 11 years because I lived elsewhere but I used to do it every year in my youth. This year I was there as a team of myself. I listened to the speakers and then it was off and walking. I started out trying to find my place in the pack - finding where I could walk my pace without being in the way of others. I found myself walking along side of a grandfather who was pulling his grandson in a red wagon. We smiled and acknowledged each other's presence and then continued walking along, joined for a moment in this shared concern. We we crossed streets I noticed something that renewed my faith in good and humanity. Not all of the places we crossed had dips in the sidewalk. The grandfather would start to slow down to gently pull the wagon with his grandson and folks would just come along and pick up the wagon and set it down so the grandson wouldn't be bounced out or knocked around. We'd g...

October is the month that celebrates many things: Ministerial Appreciation, breast cancer awareness, bullying prevention, domestic violence awareness month and many many more that I can't even remember at this point (ranking means nothing - it's just how things popped in my head). That doesn't count all of the days that are added to it - World Communion Sunday, Feast Day of St. Francis of Assisi, National Coming Out Day, etc, etc. It's overwhelming to me lately. I'm not sure why but this month, my life in particular, seems to be more busy. I'm living by calendars and schedules like never before. Plotting and planning seems to be constantly going on. What I've decided that it's all become busy work - ways to both intentionally and unintentionally avoid being aware to myself and others. But it's myself that I'm going to focus on. I've been avoiding dealing with my higher Self - the divine self who wants to come in and love me. It's easy to ...

This past weekend the Indiana region of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) denomination voted to remove sexuality as one of the criteria they will use to say they recommend a candidate be ordained into Christian ministry. What this does do is allow individual congregations more freedom in ordaining who they see fit to ordain - a move to being true to the history of the denomination where each church is free to make it's own decisions. This statement is neither for or against the ordination of homosexual individuals. And while I'm happy that this is a step in the right direction, in the effort to find equality, I want the denomination to get on board with this discussion. I want to see the denomination, like others, stop saying that it is going to discern the issue of homosexuality and the life of the church and bring the issue up in a serious, balanced manner for talk and debate at the general/national level. I honestly see that this is an issue that needs to be discu...

October is here officially, even though it's felt like it for awhile. The trees are changing their colors and the leaves are starting to fall to the ground. There's a beauty in this time of year even though it foreshadows death. The world seems to be slowing down - the days are getting shorter and shorter. The temperature is starting to drop - calling out to me to start taking time to slow myself down and to hibernate and prepare for the winter that's coming. But fall is also a time for good things - the weather is perfect for a drive into the country to find that cute little orchard, pick up some apples and bake so the house fills with wonderful smells. There's a sense of comfort from having a great warm beverage and being curled up with that favorite sweater, hoodie and/or blanket. October has been for me a historical time of change. I was ordained this time of year, I moved to where I currently am almost exactly a year ago today. I've started new jobs, left o...

Having lived in the Bible belt for 10 years, the debate about what is taught in public schools always includes the debate about science vs. creation or both. Being raised in the Midwest and living there again now, this doesn't seem to be such a big issue. So why is it that there's this need, in places where Christianity tends to be more conservative, to keep going over and over this issue? I believe that it's an issue of knowing absolutes. When you take the Bible as a literal document and one that can be used to support history, you need everything within the Bible to be validated. It has to be black and white to make the Bible make sense in those terms. There's a strong desire within all of humankind to understand how we got here and why things happen in our lives. The Bible talks about many of these basic human questions, yet there's still a problem. The Bible was never meant to be a history or science book. So going back to the creation story, oops I mean sto...

So what is the minister suppose to look like? That's a much debated topic. 15 years ago when I encountered my first female pastor and said that I wanted to become a minister myself I was advised that for at least for the first year that I should never let anyone in my congregation see me without a skirt/dress on. A congregation was upset because I generally wear flip flops, not knowing or understanding that my feet are a very odd size and finding shoes that are comfortable to wear is very difficult and frustrating. The pastor of my current congregation has had numerous members come up to him and tell him that he does not look much like a minister because he's wearing a t-shirt and jeans when preaching. So what does or is a minister suppose to look like? Are ministers expected to be always in dress casual clothing? Should I always have a skirt hidden in my desk drawer/car trunk in case someone comes through the door? Should I be spending quality time every week making sure that...

Had a conversation with a friend yesterday about the need some clergy folks have to look like clergy. they shared a story about a guy who thought about becoming a priest, decided not too but had already bought a collard shirt and then decided to wear it when he took a class on exorcisms. He wore the collar so he would blend in and no one knew that he wasn't an actual priest. Interesting that someone choose to wear a collar - if you've never worn a full collar I say it's like being reminded that you could be choked at any second and is not that comfy - and I decide to not wear a collar to be a pastor. I own two collar shirts - just the tab ones. They're folded up nicely in a storage tote currently. I've worn them a total of 5 times. 1 was for Halloween, 1 was for my adopted grandmother's funeral I preached, 1 was an experiment in the hospital I worked at and 1 was so I could actually see a person in a VA hospital. I'm not very original when it comes to cost...

Some days I wonder about the family dog. There are very few dogs that I've met that are not food motivated. Usually you set a bowl of food down and any dog will come and eat. Not our Sadie. She is not food motivated - unless it's people food. She will go a couple of days without eating if too hot outside and she might only eat once a day at best. But whenever she does eat she needs to have someone sitting near in the same room. It's her comfort to have someone with her. There are days when you have to make yourself stop and sit with her in order for her to feel comfortable. Some days it's hard to find the time to sit with her and I just wish that she would do what would seem to be a normal thing to do. But then you look at that face and your heart melts a little more and you stop and sit and remind the poor animal that it's okay and that you're here to watch over her. Makes me think about how often I and we as a society don't take the time to sit and watch...

I think that one of the issues why people today are becoming more suspicious of the institution of the Church is that there seems to be a problem with communication. Last time I checked I don't recall Jesus saying anything about the need to give people messages through third parties instead of talking directly to a person. We leave messages to be delivered on our behalf's by other people and then wonder why people are frustrated when they don't understand where or why there is this message. Example - this set of papers sounds too much of one thing and not another and that maybe causing you a problem is the message I received lately from a third party. The third party person couldn't tell me what sounded wrong or why. So now I have to track down the author of such comments and try to get them to explain. Why not take the middle person out? Why not just be direct? Don't want to use the phone there's email, letters, social media, etc. Messages and memos get lost in...

The next few posts are my responses to questions that are used to help communities get to know me. Comments are welcomed. I am a social person who likes to be in the community. Through social activities, I build community and shared experiences. Not only do I get to know others but they get to know me and share in my life. I am a well-organized person who believes in being prepared to the best of my ability. I am loyal and compassionate which helps foster the relationships in a congregation. I believe that a minister should be present at major life events. I want people to know that they are cared for and loved by me and the community. A simple act as a card, phone call or text message helps people know that you are keeping them in your mind and that at least one person who prayed for them that day. I like to use different expressions like music, art, drama and quietness. I encourage churches through visual aides, music, scents, etc as they relate and fit the situation.

 The next few posts are my responses to questions that are used to help communities get to know me. Comments are welcomed. The Church’s mission is relational. To understand one’s relationship with God, one must also understand their relationships with others. The Church is a place where all come to share their lives and get unconditional love. The Church is to strive and push for positive reform and change. The Church must discern who it is in this time of uncertainity and act so all of creation may come to know and love God. It is only when a community can truly understand how to love all of their neighbors that they will fully community. I am called to be a person who sets the example for others for what it looks like to welcome and to offer empathy and love to those society labels “other.”

The next few posts are my responses to questions that are used to help communities get to know me. Comments are welcomed. . I’m a servant leader. I’m called to be teacher, guide and leader to help form and shape the direction of the Church. At times I’m to follow someone who has different gifts and talents. I see myself working across lines that cause fracture and division in the Church and communities to offer a listening heart and presence. I want to reconcile with those labeled “other.” I encourage and nurture others to grow themselves into a fuller relationship with God. At baptism each congregant makes commitments to help the candidate grow in faith. It is important for the pastor to get to know each person and to figure out their style of communication. I believe that part of the commitment to the Church is working in ecumenical and interfaith organizations so I can continue learning and further extend bonds that will bring more people together.

The next few posts are my responses to questions that are used to help communities get to know me. Comments are welcomed. There’s not a time when I wasn’t “churched.” My family believed in active membership and giving oneself to the work of God. I attended church events and served on committees throughout my youth. My adopted grandmothers showed me God’s love were a blessing. My call is relational. I wrestled with God because I thought ministry wasn’t me but God had plans. My parents, pastor and regional staff encouraged me during high school. I attended Transy and TEAM in 1999 and realized I belonged in ministry. In college I served congregations as summer intern in two states and as a student pastor in seminary. I continued my education as a chaplain resident. I learn more about my faith when I work with others.

Today is September 11, 2012 - the 11th anniversary of the tragedy of that day. This event is seared into the memories of everyone on that day. We all remember where we were that day. This was a true event of terror and religion being used as a weapon. As we move further away from 2001 there is still a desire to remember the events of the day. While we all will not and should not forget that day, I think that we are forgetting the other events that came from that day. I remember the hatred of other that was continued - blaming all of the Jews, all of the Muslims, blaming anyone that looked Middle Eastern. We, Americans and others across the world, started to profile, detain, suspect and hate the other. We needed someone to blame, and while we knew who to blame, we decided to blame a whole group of people. This hatred and racism has only continued. True it has died down some because society has decided to hate other groups a little more currently, but we still hate. We still think it...

As a chaplain working in a health care system, you are told to expect it all. You try to prepare yourself to hear and see pretty much anything and to be able to try to find a calm presence from within that you can bring to a situation – be the voice of reason at times. So when you visit a patient and they want to know more about you and your faith you know things are going to be interesting. Whenever someone immediately starts deflecting things and making the visit about you, you know you're in trouble. I worked in a hospital that is in the Bible belt and attracts folks who are steeped in conservative American based Christian traditions. It was not uncommon for me to meet folk, men almost always, who were missionaries. Most would be polite and figured if nothing else I could be the person to fluff the pillow or get some water. I figured that was as much ministry as was going to happen in those situations and I was cool with that. Then I meet "the one," he believed he wa...

Revelation 21: 1-6 "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. 2And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. 3And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘See, the home* of God is among mortals. He will dwell* with them; they will be his peoples,* and God himself will be with them;* 4he will wipe every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away.’ 5 And the one who was seated on the throne said, ‘See, I am making all things new.’ Also he said, ‘Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.’ 6Then he said to me, ‘It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give water as a gift from the spring of the water of life." The book of Revelation is a book that has generate...

Dating and being a minister. Have to say that those two words don’t seem to be blending very well. Telling someone what you do is not easy. You don’t want to lie but saying the actual words “I’m a minister” usually gets me 1 of 3 responses. 1 – oh you’re a minister, followed by the sounds of pitter patter as the person runs away. This response often comes from people who don’t believe that females have any roll in the church. Sometimes these people try to save me from my sins too. 2 – oh you’re a minister, followed by the person wanting confession or pastoral advice followed by the words I can’t date a pastor and some reason. While I’m all about helping others when I can, that’s not the reason why I’m dating. In all honesty I help people all day long (or I’d like to think that I do) and I don’t want that in a date. Us ministers would like to have a nice dinner and movie date too. 3 – the people who think that they can corrupt a minister. It starts out with trying to figure out if a fem...

Solomon Prays for Wisdom: What do we want? [i] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explain the space ·          Sing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [ii] Solomon was the son of king David. He took over the thrown once David died. Solomon was a good man. He tried his best to follow the 10 best ways to live. One night, in a dream, God spoke to Solomon. God asked Solomon what he would like because Solomon had been so good and was living the best life he could. Solomon thought about it and said that he wanted God to help him know right from wrong. He wanted God to help him lead God’s people. Solomon could have asked for money, clothes, and many other things. But instead he asked for the right things and God was very pleased. God was so pleased that he not only gave Solomon the ab...

The Beatitudes: Beatitude Kiosk [i] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explain the space ·          Sing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [ii] One time, Jesus was teaching. There were so many people that he went up on a mountain. Jesus began to teach them, by saying: “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” “Blessed are those who mourn.” “Blessed are the meek.” “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst.” “Blessed are the merciful.” “Blessed are the pure in heart.” “Blessed are the peacemakers.” “Blessed are those who are persecuted.” “Blessed are you when people revile and persecute you.” These teachings are called the Beatitudes. Wondering Questions ·          I wonder what it was like to teach so many people? ·    ...

The Writing on the Wall: God’s Power [i] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explain the space ·          Sing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [ii] Once there was a king named Belshazzar. He threw a party, at this palace. The people who he ruled over did not follow the 10 Best Ways to Live. Belshazzar’s father had taken items from God’s temple, in Jerusalem . Belshazzar decided that the gold and silver cups should be used, at his party. So all of the people there started to drink from the temple’s cups. All of the sudden a hand appeared and started writing on the wall “Mene, Mene, Tekal, Parsin!” None of the king’s wise men or advisors knew what it meant. The king called in Daniel. He translated the words for the king. Mene: God has numbered your kingdom and finished it. T...

I grew up watching "Walker: Texas Ranger" probably because I have a father who, I believe secretly, wants to be a cowboy. I watched Chuck Norris solve the world's problems in an hour every week. Granted there were worse things to watch but I'm sure hoping there were better things too. But I'm disturbed that this picture was used as a sermon illustration. I believe that the point that the pastor was trying to make was that people and communities of faith need to have vision and a plan on how to make that vision a reality. Somehow this picture of Chuck Norris exemplifies this? I'm all for people of faith and congregations having vision and goals. But I have issues with this picture. First machine guns???? Who are we going to go kill in order to bring about this vision or goals? We're to be militant and use violence? Then the theme of patriotic loyalty. Vision is only for the United States? We're the only group of people that God blesses? It's okay ...

Jesus Appears to Seven Disciples: Gone Fishing [i] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explain the space ·          Sing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [ii] Seven of Jesus’ disciples were gathered by the sea. They decided to go fishing, so that night they went out in their boat and cast their nets. All night the seven cast their nets yet the caught nothing. In the morning, a man was standing on the shoreline. He called to the Disciples, “Do you have any food?” “No,” the seven replied. The man replied “Cast your nets on the other side of your boat.” The seven did so and the net was filled with fish. So many fish filled the net, that they could not bring the net back onto the boat. Then the seven realized who the man was. It was Jesus. Simon Peter jumped into the water and swa...

Hagar and Ishmael: Lost in the Desert [i] Using Children’s Worship and Wonder format open with: ·          Welcoming the children ·          Explain the space ·          Sing “Father we Adore You” and “Be Still and Know” Story [ii] Once Abraham and his wife Sarah had a woman who worked for them named Hagar. Because Sarah and Abraham could not have a child, Hagar had a child for them. His name was Ishmael. After some time Sarah had her own child. Sarah was jealous of Ishmael and had Abraham send Hagar and Ishmael away. Abraham did not want to do it, but the next day he got up early, gathered some bread and water and woke Hagar and Ishmael. Abraham told them that they had to leave. Hagar and Ishmael started walking in the desert of Beersheba . Soon Hagar and Ishmael’s bread and water was gone. Hagar put Ishmael under a palm tree and turned away from him...