Skip to main content

Saving The Chaplain

As a chaplain working in a health care system, you are told to expect it all. You try to prepare yourself to hear and see pretty much anything and to be able to try to find a calm presence from within that you can bring to a situation – be the voice of reason at times. So when you visit a patient and they want to know more about you and your faith you know things are going to be interesting. Whenever someone immediately starts deflecting things and making the visit about you, you know you're in trouble.
I worked in a hospital that is in the Bible belt and attracts folks who are steeped in conservative American based Christian traditions. It was not uncommon for me to meet folk, men almost always, who were missionaries. Most would be polite and figured if nothing else I could be the person to fluff the pillow or get some water. I figured that was as much ministry as was going to happen in those situations and I was cool with that. Then I meet "the one," he believed he was sent by God to save me from myself as I found out later. I worked the cardio floors so I got to see him before and after his open heart surgery and recovery process. Our first meeting was the normal "I'm one of the chaplains, I'm here if you want/need me and I also handle advance directives." I watched as this man's whole energy changed. He fluffed himself up as best he could and informed me that he was a missionary of a particular very conservative movement and that he wanted to pray for me. I was cool with him praying so I sat and listened. His prayer was all about me knowing the love of Jesus and for Jesus to come into me and show me the right way. Okay being that I have a love Christology I translated the prayer and had to move one.
I say him the next day in recovery and then, probably because of the drugs, I got the greet questions of faith. Do you believe in God? Do you believe in Jesus? Do you believe that Jesus died for your sins? I'm rolling with this but then the kicker. Do you know that Jesus wants you to be a good woman? Do you know that what you're doing is wrong? That a man should be doing it? Needless to say the gut wanted to rip some tubes out of his body and see what happened but then the rational side came out. I learned many years ago that you are never going to "win" an argument with someone who believes that they are so "right" about their faith. My response was, "Mr. so and so, I understand that from your faith tradition and background that you may not want a woman chaplain and I'm fine with that. I'll be happy to have a male chaplain do any follow up visits with you. However, I know my relationship with God is secure and I firmly believe I am doing what God has told me to do by being here. I will respect your faith and leave now but I ask that you respect mine please. Blessings in your recovery." I heard later from the nurses that this missionary then spent quality time praying, loudly, for me since he could see me in the hallways.
It's interesting to be "saved" when you don't want it. Maybe I did need to be saved - but I doubt that it was being a chaplain in that moment. Maybe being "saved" means having someone to walk with on the journey of faith to help guide or offer alternatives verse this idea that it's all Jesus and 1 person's belief to know God. I hope and pray that if I ever come off like this man that someone smacks me upside the head.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...

Why the Minister has Fees

  As a minister I have the honor of performing rites and ceremonies for people at a variety of stages of life: baptisms, blessings, marriages, funerals, etc. I usually enjoy planning and leading these events. But lately I've had a rash of folks shocked that as a minister, I would have a fee to do some of these services. So lets talk about why I have fees.   To start with, if you are a member of my congregation you do get my services as a part of my contract with the congregation as long as they are spelled out in the contract. Generally if you're a member of the congregation I serve, it is expected that I will preform baptisms, blessings, funerals, weddings, etc for you because I want to remind you of God's continuous blessing in your life and especially at important moments in your life.   However some folks are shocked that there would be an honorarium suggested for the minister. The reality is that these blessings, weddings, funerals, etc. are extra work in our wee...

I'm a Pastor, Why I Say What I Say - Communion

  In the church I currently serve, we celebrate communion on the first Sunday of the month. Everytime we celebrate communion I always conclude the meditation and the Words of Institution with an invitation to the talbe that includes the following: Come to the table because this is God's table. It's not the table of this congregation or this denomination, but God's. Because of that you all are welcome here.   Some of my church members think that I just like to repeat myself. But I say this for theological reasons. All too often churches like to put up boundries to participation in the full life of the church: membership requirements, approval by the pastor, counsel/boards, reciting certain creeds/belief statements, etc. While these are more formal reasons that churches bar people from full participation in all aspects of the church, there are informal ways of keeping people from full participation: unwelcoming, rumor mills, creative ways of making sure people are not includ...