An "Ah Ha" Moment in Ministry

 Let's open up Kate's urban dictionary.

"Unbiblical-ness" - a word whose definition is evolving - means living a life I deem faithful yet other Christians find morally repugnant and based in my assumed lack of understanding of “true Christianity” aka their version of Christianity. I’ve decided to embrace the “unbiblical-ness” my existence seems to trigger in others. By embracing my “unbiblical-ness” I mean I’m going to stand my ground as a proud ordained, woman of faith, who speaks when the Spirit compels and do the hard work of creating a space where all know love, safety and justice.

My unbiblical-ness has prompted people to call me “preacher gal” even when asked not to. My unbiblical-ness has had people attempt to block me from leaving a rally/vigil because they want to try to intimidate me to take back my statements and to” re-educate” me.

My unbiblical-ness has prompted me to leave two calls because in one I dared to utter the name George Floyd and say the word “injustice” when speaking of his murder. The other because they allowed a member to bully me and other women even after he made it clear that he concealed carry always and was prepared to use his weapon – yes lets allow this behavior because “he’s family” instead of uninviting him.

So, I find myself in rural Nebraska. I researched where I was going before I moved. It’s not new territory. I know my boundaries; I am not partisan in the pulpit, but in my personal life, I am. I do what I feel aligns my faith with kin-dom building work. 

Move to April 2023 - I hit the lottery. After speaking out against Nebraska’s three anti-trans and the fetal heartbeat bill by signing petitions, letters to state senators, showing up to rallies and signing up to speak before committees in Lincoln, the world knows where I stand. 

I caught the eye of an individual, or group, that believes I am unbiblical and a groomer. April 24, the day before my birthday. I was home, trying to relax after a Monday full of meetings, trying to unwind from Sunday and decide what to do for my birthday. I get a call from the camp administrator for the DOC and UCC church camp in Nebraska. I sit on the camp board so getting a call wasn’t unusual. The camp admin starts with “so I got a weird call and need to talk to you.” A woman called the camp and tried to get them to disavow me from having anything to do with camp because I teach “unchristianly things.” The camp administrator asked the pertinent questions, and I was the only person called a groomer. The caller stated I couldn’t be a good Christian or influence on youth if I supported the trans community. The camp administrator said he and the board supported the dignity and worth of all people and that I wasn’t going to be kicked out. The caller end with, “I’m going to blow this up.” 

Happy Birthday to me! I sat with this call. The who’s and what’s running through my mind. Why did they call the camp and not my churches? Why such a roundabout way to attack me? What does this mean for camp? These are other people’s kids who need to be protected. Am I on a website? What about my churches? So began my list of emails and phone calls to so many people and Googling – lots of googling. I spent my birthday calling and emailing regional and conference ministers, the camp Board. Calling 3 different law enforcement agencies to report this because who knows what people will or won’t do.

And then my churches – what am I going to tell my churches? They need to know because what if I/we get protested? What if phone calls start or social media attacks? Neither of my churches are ONA and have a wide variety of political stances. I did this advocacy work on my own time. But now my actions might affect them. How will they respond? Thoughts of people leaving my small congregations raced in my head. Will there be another special board meeting where the leadership says everything but “we’re unhappy you talked about privilege” and instead make it clear that my time as minister is short if I don’t find a call elsewhere because people are upset. How quickly can I pack up and move if asked to leave entered my mind space. Crap – what have I done?

Now I don’t believe that this woman intended to blow anything up physically. But as a single woman, living by myself, in a setting where I wonder how long I would lie on the floor before someone found me, I asked myself if I should even stay.

Sunday came and I stood at the end of two worship services nervously and told my congregations the highlights of the past week. I explained that I was labeled a “groomer” and the words “blow it up” were said. I told them law enforcement knew and if they saw something to say something. I told them that I was continuing my plans to direct middle school church camp and to speak out in Lincoln and other places. 

My congregations took the news and then moved on with their Sundays, planning if they would have lunch at the Mexican restaurant or drive to Norfolk. No special meetings were called. Nothing really changed for them. But no one asked me if I was okay. No one invited me to lunch. In fact, the only comment I got was from one of my 90-year-old members being upset that being a groomer was a bad thing because her daughter is a groomer at the vet clinic. Emotionally exhausted, I explained that there was nothing wrong with the profession of animal grooming but this grooming was referring to people who prey on vulnerable people so they can do horrible things. Ms. Vida then went “oh - my daughter will be happy to know” and then left the building. I just wanted to scream “would someone at least give me a freaking hug???!!!!”

So – what now? I wrestled with next steps because did I want to become that minister who leaves churches only after a few years? Also, I’m so tired of moving – I want stability. I want to make a home and have my community, my people. But I can’t stay where no one apparently really gives a fuck about me as long as Sunday happens. And I would love a community that will join me in this work, so I don’t have to compartmentalize myself all the time because that shit is exhausting.

For those of you who don’t know, I decided to leave. I have a new call, with a church that is already ONA and proud. A church that picked me up from the airport for my first visit with welcome signs and greeted me with hugs even though we’ve only known each other through Zoom and search and call profiles. A church that is ready to rumble with the hard stuff. March 1, I start at a UCC church in Wisconsin and my first Sunday they’re having a pie reception. And in the meantime, in between packing and purging, I still call my state senator, sign petitions and support others doing the work of unbiblical-ness.