Skip to main content

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant.

Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to pay for the seat next to me on the airplane because no normal sized human being fits in an airplane seat anyway fine I will if I choose to fly. I'd probably like to not have to share air with a stranger.

But what I do ask from other people/the world is to simply to be left alone about my size. You see this trio of women last night felt the need to rather loudly and rudely make the comments that they "felt bad for the booth" that I seemed to have "stuffed" myself into and that they were "grossed" by my order (a grilled chicken sandwich on a wheat bun with dressing on the side and steamed mixed vegetables with a beer). I am unclear what I did or how my presence offended these women but I suspect it has way more to do with them then me.

With that said though what in the hell is wrong with society that it is even remotely okay to say those things about a person? Let me help you out - if you think that these type of comments will motivate me to somehow magically lose all of my weight in the next few minutes it will not. If you think you're sharing a concern for my health let me assure you that's not how it came across. It was mean. It was hateful and hate. It was an attempt to break a spirit and was quite frankly what I listened to every day I went to school from the time kids learned that people were different and there were groups and clicks.

Society has become sick in so many ways. Yes I will give people points in their argument that yes by maintaining my size I am doing damage to my body, I'm using more resources then I should and I'm sure I should probably be paying more in health insurance then a fit person should. However, it is sick to think that this behavior and attitudes about a person are acceptable. It is sick to think that this is okay on any level from the school playground, to the dressing rooms at a store, to a table at a restaurant. It is sick to think that others will be influenced and share these women's opinions.

So I don't fit in every booth at a restaurant - I'll just sit at a table in the middle of the floor so everyone can watch me eat my "gross" meal and be content eating by myself. So I don't fit in an airplane seat perfectly - I'll pay for my second seat and get talked about because who do I think I am for spending that much money. I just hope that we, society, do learn to have some compassion, to show some love or to just simply shut up if you can find nothing close to nice to say about another person.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...

A Day in the Life: A Minister and Forgiveness

 I shared in one of my last blogs that I had complaints lodged against me by a small group in my congregation. Most seem to have moved on after our group meeting, where I apologized for a lot of things - probably more then I should have had too. But I'm the professional in those settings so I did it.  I'm not being told, second hand, that two of those in that meeting want a one on one apology from me because what I said in the meeting wasn't good enough. This is the couple who cursed in my church, have flat out lied about me and have repeatedly stated that the only outcome they're willing to accept is my termination.  Let me explain why I won't be having a one on one meeting with this couple and I won't be giving any more apologies. First, lets start with the apology part. I have apologized for my actions - maybe my misinterpretations is a better term. Based off of their actions and words, I communicated with the proper board/committee and asked for consensus ab...

February 2025 Clergy Life Glimpses

February 2025 feels like it's been the longest year ever. The state of the US government is just scary and getting worse and worse by the hour. As a cis-gender, white, middle age, female I know I have more agency and power then many. I can't know what my siblings of God are feeling and dealing with during this time when their existence is literally being erased by the US government and they're being told they're flawed and have no rights to even exist. Although there are grassroot efforts to fight the orange one's executive orders, I fear we are following the Hitler playbook and there are not enough people on the right who will stand up against our president and his regime.  It has been hard to write an update on daily or even semi regular "days in the life of a pastor." Finding words that speak to as many as possible because I work in a purple congregation takes time and energy that I am running low on. And then on a more personal professional note: being...