Skip to main content

Heart

I'm a person that tends to live out of my heart. In the Enegram I'm a 3w2 for those that know what that means. I tend to lead and act from my emotions. This has some blessings but also some curses. While I'm often able to pick up on others feelings and tend to be able to sympathize and empathize with others it also means that I tend to take things said to heart, deeply into my heart. To be more specific I tend to take the critics and negative said about me to heart and forget about the postive things or I tend to write them off as just fluff. That's where I find myself as I write this...living in my heart and taking the negative things said to me to heart and feeling the overwhelming urge to ball my eyes out, which I've done several times recently. The energy is off. I wish I could be different at times. Maybe live in my brain. But alas I am who I am, firmly and undeniably rooted in the heart. Sometimes it feels okay to live here and others it doesn't. It does help other heart people notice my energy is off and to know when I need support, encouragement and love - and that is one of the blessings of living in the heart. But today my friends I wish my heart would stop feeling for a bit and that I could rid myself of some of the other "stuff." Living in the heart - a blessing I hope that continues to be revealed.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...

A Day in the Life: A Minister and Forgiveness

 I shared in one of my last blogs that I had complaints lodged against me by a small group in my congregation. Most seem to have moved on after our group meeting, where I apologized for a lot of things - probably more then I should have had too. But I'm the professional in those settings so I did it.  I'm not being told, second hand, that two of those in that meeting want a one on one apology from me because what I said in the meeting wasn't good enough. This is the couple who cursed in my church, have flat out lied about me and have repeatedly stated that the only outcome they're willing to accept is my termination.  Let me explain why I won't be having a one on one meeting with this couple and I won't be giving any more apologies. First, lets start with the apology part. I have apologized for my actions - maybe my misinterpretations is a better term. Based off of their actions and words, I communicated with the proper board/committee and asked for consensus ab...

"And I Scream I'm Not Angry"

There's a Matchbox 20 song called "Angry." Part of the lyrics to the chorus are "and I scream that I'm not angry." It's a good song for when you're angry. But right now there is a burning furnace churning in my core and this song lyric does not fully capture my feelings. Maybe if I was going to sing/scream this in the privacy of my car it would be more along the lines of "and I scream that I'm not angry, I'm pissed as hell!!!" It has been a trying weekend. It is no longer good or healthy for me to be numb. It's time to fight is what comes out over and over again from my core. At the more "nicer" end of my spectrum of anger is just having a good old fashion temper tantrum - kicking, screaming and throwing myself in the floor. At the other end of my spectrum is me wanting to have my own "temple tantrum" similar to the one recorded in the Gospels - Jesus over turning the tables in the temple to make his point. ...