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Showing posts from April, 2013

My basic prayer

If you were an intern when I was a resident chaplain then you know my simple prayer. It's Really!?!?! I believe that sums up most prayers that come from the heart and it suits many times of crisis and uncertainty. I find that I'm praying that almost constantly daily. From the really you just did/said that with my job to really with what's going on in the world. It's a fitting prayer for many times and places. It's an honest prayer because I know that I don't understand everything that's going on in this world or my life. It can be uttered when one crys, screamed hen angry, laughingly spoken or said in times of thanks and awe that you made it. I get that there's a thought that you should be fairly formal in your prayers. Many people have sold many books trying to teach the art of prayer. While I firmly believe that those books and forms are great for times of formal corporate prayer - when I pray personally I don't really care if I hit a certain

Boston Marathon Bombing - where is God?

With the bombings at the Boston Marathon today there's still a sense of shock that lingers. That really happened today to a bunch of people running and those watching? It did. We don't know why? No - we don't. It's at times like these when people ask the tough questions of why? Why us? Why did it happen? Why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? As a pastor I get looked to for answers in times like these and my answer is "I don't know." It's simple and honest. I have no idea how someone or a group of people would think it's okay for whatever reason to kill and hurt so many people. I have no idea what brings about so much hate and anger. Now to the harder why question as a pastor - why did God/G-d/Allah/Higher Being let this happen? I don't believe that God takes any delight in times like these. I don't believe that God wants any part of creation to do these things. I believe in a God that s so big that yes God could stop

So I Don't Fit - Follow Up

My post 2 days ago has been read and shared by several folks to thanks. I got asked a question about my response to the situation so here is why I blogged and why I took my time in posting it. 1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response. 2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and

So You Want to Take My Picture

So a friend was going through and sharing some old pictures that I had taken and put on Facebook. So of course I went through my pictures on Facebook. Here's what I noticed: I take more pictures then I am in and if I'm in a picture this above sums up how I'm most often captured - hiding or running away. I don't stop to be in pictures and I honestly don't enjoy pictures. I'm much more comfortable taking the picture then being in one or hiding in the back row if I must be in one. But here's the scarier thing I'm realizing - I'm missing out on things by spending more time hiding from cameras. Since I don't want to be in a picture I'm often captured running away. I wanted to update my profile picture because it's going on 9 months and I don't have a picture to put up there. What message do I send out when I'm so uncomfortable being in front of the camera? Now I firmly believe that shoving a camera in one's face constantly is a

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p

Walking into Doors

So yesterday I stopped by a national retailer to pick up a few things on my list and thought "it'll be a nice easy in and out trip. Walking in the first set of automatic doors opened as I approached. Then the second didn't and if you know my skills at paying attention at times. I walked smacked into closed doors which were kind enough to open after I walked into them. So I bounced off the doors and then walked through. The guy at customer serviced stared at me and I shrugged it off. Now this wouldn't be so bad except that as I was leaving and using the other entrance same thing happens. First set of doors open but not the second. With a "Really?" and a sigh I pushed open the automatic door and left the door - starting to wonder if I was going to need to dodge cars or carts. But in thinking about it how often do we all walk into doors in our lives? (metaphorically). Some days we bounce and can just shrug it off. We find ways to either open the door ourselves