The World's Okayest Pastor

Happy New Year Church! Advent is the beginning of the liturgical new year. We change the colors to Royal Blue or Purple to mark this time of waiting and anticipation. We will decorate the church and our homes. How will we prepare our hearts this season? As I write this, we are a little over one week post the election and emotions are mixed in the church and American society. Some people are breathing sighs of relief and others feel like they can’t breathe. I get it on both sides. But where are our hearts post-election? Traditionally, each week of Advent has a particular theme: hope, love, joy, peace. As the light of the Advent wreath grows, we should be growing in our faith. We are called to be people of hope; hope that things will get better. Hope that we can be God’s hands and feet in the world to those who are hurting, scared, unsure, grieving, excited. We are called to be people of love: loving all our neighbors and society, yes even those we don’t like or agree with. We are ca...

  In the aftermath of the events of Paris and San Bernadino, California, there has been quite the backlash against all Muslims. We now have political candidates stating that we need to "register" Muslims and block Muslims from entering the country. The fear and hate speech is out of control and based on ignorance, not the facts. A country that once said that we welcomed people is now saying we welcome only those who look, act, and believe like those in control.   So as a pastor, let me tell you why I love my Muslim brothers and sisters. First off they are not out to wage a violent, blood "holy way = jihad" against anyone. Jihad is the struggle each Muslim has, within themselves, to lead the most holy and right life. It is not about bloodshed and "killing the infidel." Any Muslim who claims to believe in a holy killing war is misguided and has been denounced by the majority of the world's Muslims. As I write this post, the Western Christian world is in...

  Every Sunday I greet my congregation with these words: "Good morning beautiful people of God." It is a habit but I say it for a few reasons. 1) always greet people when you interact with them. 2) these are words that need to be heard by everyone, and often. Why these words? Let me break this greeting down for you.   "Beautiful people" - Who gets to define beauty today? Generally the media and those in the fashion industry. As a woman in the plus sized part of society, all too often I don't see the message that I'm beautiful, if anything I told exactly the opposite and that I need a lot of things to "fix" myself. In my work with youth and in particular girls, it is more clear to me than ever that being exactly the way they are is not okay and they won't be beautiful unless they have the right things to make them so. So I call everyone a beautiful person because guess what you are. We need (myself included) need to hear these words often so th...

This week's Vanity Fair cover is the public debut pictures of Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce. The ESPY's announced that Caitlyn would be receiving the Arthur Ashe Courage Award this year. What has followed as been interesting and disturbing to watch. Caitlyn has gotten a lot of attention for being "beautiful." And while she is very beautiful, why is it that all people can describe her as is beautiful or that's the starting point? Why does being a woman equal a social understanding of what is to be beautiful? What about using words like courageous, loving, smart, devoted, strong, etc.? A woman is more than what society deems as beautiful or pretty but that seems to be all society focuses on. Who doesn't like to feel and look beautiful but that's not the main thing that should define a person. Hey society lets expand our descriptions of people, and women in particular, past looks? Now lets talk about courage - there has been a backlash about why...

Congratulations Class of 2015 and also to your families.  You've  made it to the finish line of high school. Next week you will receive your diplomas and will be officially adults by all standards. You’ll get the speeches that include hearing “The Giving Tree” and other stories to inspire you as you go about what the future holds for you. And while I could use this time to read you one of those inspirational stories, I’m not.           Instead I’m going to boil it all down for you. Our hopes, dreams and prayers for you all are really this; that you all will be decent human beings in all that you say, do and be. That  doesn't  seem to be that big of a task. But when we look back at scripture, the accounts of people trying to live a life that is faithful and aligns with God’s purpose for creating us, we see that it’s harder then we think. Ecclesiastes reminds us that there are times for everything. You will be c...

Tonight is one of those nights were I find I'm feeling bipolar. I'm attempting to write out plans for my job - a visioning process for a congregation to try to piece together where it sees its future. While my head and heart want to be 100% focused on this, I'm distracted by the thoughts about the vision of my life. While I was into Mary Kay (full disclosure - love the products, still technically a consultant but ugh) they were big on making goal posters - really vision posters. Each year, at least, we were asked to make these posters for what we wanted to achieve and to focus us on the year to come. It could be prizes to earn, vacations, homes, cars, outfits, etc. While there is nothing wrong with vision and goal posters as I reflect on how I feel about the goal/vision poster in my brain it's a mixture of things. There's part of me that feels inadequate because I'm still single, not the mom I hoped to be and not living and being as independent as I wanted to...

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye...

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur...

Last week, I was a volunteer at Girl Scout Camp. I went so a camper, who has physical conditions, could attend camp and get the medical assistance she needed. What I was looking for was some time away, catch up on some reading, get a little sun and making sure this camper had a good time. What really happened was all of the above and then some. One the second day of camp after getting sun burned, smelling like pool water, sunscreen, sweat and random craft stuff that was on me, a camper came up to me and said "you're pretty." That's it. Simple and to the point. Then she went back to whatever she had been working on. I don't know what led her to come up to someone who was basically a stranger to her and say "you're pretty" but she did. Short, simple and with honesty that only a child can have. It was moving to hear those words. Those two words made my night, made the sunburn more then worth it. They made me feel more loved then I've felt in a l...

My post 2 days ago has been read and shared by several folks to thanks. I got asked a question about my response to the situation so here is why I blogged and why I took my time in posting it. 1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response. 2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and...

So a friend was going through and sharing some old pictures that I had taken and put on Facebook. So of course I went through my pictures on Facebook. Here's what I noticed: I take more pictures then I am in and if I'm in a picture this above sums up how I'm most often captured - hiding or running away. I don't stop to be in pictures and I honestly don't enjoy pictures. I'm much more comfortable taking the picture then being in one or hiding in the back row if I must be in one. But here's the scarier thing I'm realizing - I'm missing out on things by spending more time hiding from cameras. Since I don't want to be in a picture I'm often captured running away. I wanted to update my profile picture because it's going on 9 months and I don't have a picture to put up there. What message do I send out when I'm so uncomfortable being in front of the camera? Now I firmly believe that shoving a camera in one's face constantly is a...

The armor we choose to surround ourselves in is different for every person. It's there for reasons that are personal and sometimes deeply rooted. Some choose to only wear certain types of clothes. I know members of clergy that are so attached to their robes and collared shirts that you wonder if they sleep in them too.  Others hide behind a certain thing: their hair, their glasses, that certain makeup product, their title - you've met that person that's always their title then name. My armor is my size. I make it literally difficult for people to get close to me because I choose to maintain the size I am. Now I will never be a size 0, however, the size I am is an unhealthy armor. It keeps people from truly getting to know me. It's there as a bad coping skill - feel something and eat. When I don't fill my life with good it's pretty easy to fill myself with food in a vain attempt to feel something or to patch the cracks in my life. In all honesty this armor is p...

I just got back from walking in the Des Moines Area Hunger Hike. I haven't done it in about 11 years because I lived elsewhere but I used to do it every year in my youth. This year I was there as a team of myself. I listened to the speakers and then it was off and walking. I started out trying to find my place in the pack - finding where I could walk my pace without being in the way of others. I found myself walking along side of a grandfather who was pulling his grandson in a red wagon. We smiled and acknowledged each other's presence and then continued walking along, joined for a moment in this shared concern. We we crossed streets I noticed something that renewed my faith in good and humanity. Not all of the places we crossed had dips in the sidewalk. The grandfather would start to slow down to gently pull the wagon with his grandson and folks would just come along and pick up the wagon and set it down so the grandson wouldn't be bounced out or knocked around. We'd g...

The Loving Kindness Tour came to Des Moines last weekend and I went each day the exhibit was open. It is a traveling educational experience about buddha relics and an offering of the key principles of Buddhism - nay most major religions of the world - to show love and kindness to all. There was a video to explain the process of collecting relics and how the tour came to be. There's room to meditate and receive a blessing. You can see the relics and practice different techniques like writing in gold the words of the Buddha, singing bowls, prayer wheels, etc. I went the first night thinking that would be my one time visiting the tour. But the moment I came close to the building housing the exhibit, the energy called me and enveloped me. I was at home there. I was surrounded by a couple hundred people I didn't know but I was at home. I was connected to the relics of the historical first buddha and the buddha we all know and understand. I was connected to the relics and life force ...