My post 2 days ago has been read and shared by several folks to thanks. I got asked a question about my response to the situation so here is why I blogged and why I took my time in posting it.
1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response.
2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and who is wrong. This is not a right or wrong situation. Those women are entitled to their opinions as much as I am mine. I also didn't believe or feel like turning the situation into a public debate. I was tired and well some days you really must pick and choose your battles.
3- I was asked why I didn't come across as angry at these women. After reading the above two paragraphs that's part of the answer. To add to it, I have dealt with people like this since I was a child so lets say a rough estimate of 25 years. I'm used to it to be frank and I have learned to acknowledge it, process it and let it go. If I held on to all of the hurt and anger I felt from the verbal bashings I took as a child, to the signs on my back, gum in my hair to being locked in the bathrooms at school I would be a shell of a person. This is not to say that my inner child doesn't hurt or have flashbacks to those events because I do. But to be myself, as a soon to be 31 year old adult, I need to do the forgiveness work for myself and move on with my Higher Self in control and not a hurt little inner child.
4- So here is my take on the situation and if I ever got a chance to speak to these women what I'd say. You are entitled to your opinions about me, however, they way you choose to express them was inappropriate. If you want to talk about someone there are quieter ways of doing it in a restaurant. To be frank you do not know me and haven't lived my life. Maybe if you took the time to truly talk with me about my weight you could understand that this is a process and one that is going to take a lot of time. Maybe if you took the time to offer positive encouragement verses focusing on the negative it would have a better impact on my life. I'd also like to point out that I have the right to sit and eat my dinner anywhere that I choose and have the right to do so without being bothered and essentially harassed by people. I think that it is sad that these women feel it is okay to speak of another human being in such low terms. I understand the pressure women feel in society to obtain and unrealistic and unhealthy image of beauty today because I feel it too. And I'm sorry that that expectation has caused this thinking to be every where. But by putting a "fat person" down to feel better about yourself is really a low blow and I wish you support as you work on your self image and self worth as I work on mine. Maybe once you can love yourself for who you truly are then you will learn to love others in the world - even the fat girl eating in the booth next to you.
1- It took me a day to post the blog because I was upset and hurt by the comments made from the women at the other table. Because of that I wanted to take time to think before I blogged. Even when I did blog I still needed time to edit my thoughts. I believe that there is already enough hate and nastiness in the world. I don't want to add to it. Words matter in this world so I took my time in response.
2- I was asked why didn't I say anything to the table of women. I didn't want too is the simplest answer I have. Silence is golden would be the next simple answer. But if I have learned nothing else it is that if someone speaks from a place of hate and ignorance talking to them is seen by the other person has trying to argue with them. Arguments tend to boil down to who is right and who is wrong. This is not a right or wrong situation. Those women are entitled to their opinions as much as I am mine. I also didn't believe or feel like turning the situation into a public debate. I was tired and well some days you really must pick and choose your battles.
3- I was asked why I didn't come across as angry at these women. After reading the above two paragraphs that's part of the answer. To add to it, I have dealt with people like this since I was a child so lets say a rough estimate of 25 years. I'm used to it to be frank and I have learned to acknowledge it, process it and let it go. If I held on to all of the hurt and anger I felt from the verbal bashings I took as a child, to the signs on my back, gum in my hair to being locked in the bathrooms at school I would be a shell of a person. This is not to say that my inner child doesn't hurt or have flashbacks to those events because I do. But to be myself, as a soon to be 31 year old adult, I need to do the forgiveness work for myself and move on with my Higher Self in control and not a hurt little inner child.
4- So here is my take on the situation and if I ever got a chance to speak to these women what I'd say. You are entitled to your opinions about me, however, they way you choose to express them was inappropriate. If you want to talk about someone there are quieter ways of doing it in a restaurant. To be frank you do not know me and haven't lived my life. Maybe if you took the time to truly talk with me about my weight you could understand that this is a process and one that is going to take a lot of time. Maybe if you took the time to offer positive encouragement verses focusing on the negative it would have a better impact on my life. I'd also like to point out that I have the right to sit and eat my dinner anywhere that I choose and have the right to do so without being bothered and essentially harassed by people. I think that it is sad that these women feel it is okay to speak of another human being in such low terms. I understand the pressure women feel in society to obtain and unrealistic and unhealthy image of beauty today because I feel it too. And I'm sorry that that expectation has caused this thinking to be every where. But by putting a "fat person" down to feel better about yourself is really a low blow and I wish you support as you work on your self image and self worth as I work on mine. Maybe once you can love yourself for who you truly are then you will learn to love others in the world - even the fat girl eating in the booth next to you.
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