The World's Okayest Pastor

It's the first Sunday in 2025 - it's also a Packer's home game so that means people who would normally open the church won't be here. So more work for me on Sunday. So I get to church at 7:45am to unlock the building, turn on lights, set up the PowerPoint, make sure the heat is warming up the place. And since it's Epiphany Sunday that means turning on tree and garland lights too.  One member's anxiety is untreated and so high that they arrive before 8:30 with their dish for the potluck and to question polity about them being the minister for Friday's funeral because they got ordained in the Universal Life Church. I can't believe the interim told the lay licensed ministers to go there to get "ordained." If I sat on a COM (Committee on Ministry) and that was shared, I'd have serious questions about motives. Again I reminded people that all worship services on church property need to 1) go through the church office to make sure there are no co...

Today started off well. It's the day after New Years so the office has been closed for two days. My secretary is taking the last of their vacation for 2024. Things are calm. There's not much happening in the life of the church. I spent the morning proof reading the bulletin and getting it ready so I can print it tomorrow.  The afternoon rolls around and my meeting for the afternoon goes well. But then a member decides to speak about a topic that does not belong in or near the committee that just wrapped. The member's comments spiral into complaints about me, complete with making personal digs at me, twice that I can clearly recall.  I'm not surprised by this behavior because it's a continuation of bad behavior that's been going on for years. I've called this member and their spouse to task for their actions and words. I get that wounded people wound other people but that is also not an excuse to refuse to have a meeting to discuss how to make amends and move...

 Let's open up Kate's urban dictionary. "Unbiblical-ness" - a word whose definition is evolving - means living a life I deem faithful yet other Christians find morally repugnant and  based in my assumed lack of understanding of “true Christianity” aka their version of Christianity. I’ve decided to embrace the “unbiblical-ness” my existence seems to trigger in others. By embracing my “unbiblical-ness” I mean I’m going to stand my ground as a proud ordained, woman of faith, who speaks when the Spirit compels and do the hard work of creating a space where all know love, safety and justice. My unbiblical-ness has prompted people to call me “preacher gal” even when asked not to. My unbiblical-ness has had people attempt to block me from leaving a rally/vigil because they want to try to intimidate me to take back my statements and to” re-educate” me. My unbiblical-ness has prompted me to leave two calls because in one I dared to utter the name George Floyd and say the w...

In this heated season (political, race relations, environmental issues, women's rights and the list goes on for way too long), I feel the need to proclaim that I'm a minister and I'm not an oxymoron. I do not preach my political views from the pulpit - you will never hear me say you should or should not vote for a certain candidate and I refuse all of the "helpful pamphlets" that will help my congregation decide who to vote for - it is also not hard for people to figure out that I am more aligned with one of the major political party than another. Living in a small town, people recognized my car at my designated caucusing site, and once that hit the town's gossip circuit everyone knew my business. And once everyone knew my political affiliation the comments began - "you can't possible be a minister and be a (political party) member." Not only is this no one's business and I have the right to vote as I choose, no it is not impossible to be a...

I have a confession: I will disappoint people as a pastor. This is a reality I live almost daily. I see it when I'm introduced by my last name and watch as a person's face falls when they realize I'm female. I see it in some folks who see my tattoos and shake their head in disapproval that I'd mark my body. I will disappoint people as a pastor because I will make a mistake and/or forget something. Yes I try to remember what I'm told on the fly, but my brain is not as good as it once was. Sunday mornings before and after worship are not always the best time to tell me things because my brain wrestles with many things. (Note - help your pastor out and write stuff down for us. We thank you in advance.) I will disappoint people by my choice to schedule time off when they feel that I should be present with them. While I personally, and many of my colleagues do the same, will attend to true crisis during our off time, others have different values, priorities and expec...

It's that time of year where every weekend, as you go out, you will hear the phrase "would you like to buy some Girl Scout cookies?" Girl Scout cookie season, loved by those of us who need our yearly "fix" and yet it is also one of the most despised times of the year by some Christian groups who want to protest the sales of Girl Scout cookies. Here's are two reasons for protesting Girl Scout cookies: Girl Scouts, along with many other non profit organizations, receive grant money from the United Way. Planned Parenthood also happens to receive money from United Way. Because of the this, groups who are anti-abortion believe that by buying Girl Scout cookies, it is money going to support Planned Parenthood. Second arguement is that we have lost our "Christian way" and we need to come back to being more faith based. So as a lifetime member of Girl Scouts (I'm celebrating 25 years of girl and adult membership - gee I'm old now), active leade...

  As a minister I have the honor of performing rites and ceremonies for people at a variety of stages of life: baptisms, blessings, marriages, funerals, etc. I usually enjoy planning and leading these events. But lately I've had a rash of folks shocked that as a minister, I would have a fee to do some of these services. So lets talk about why I have fees.   To start with, if you are a member of my congregation you do get my services as a part of my contract with the congregation as long as they are spelled out in the contract. Generally if you're a member of the congregation I serve, it is expected that I will preform baptisms, blessings, funerals, weddings, etc for you because I want to remind you of God's continuous blessing in your life and especially at important moments in your life.   However some folks are shocked that there would be an honorarium suggested for the minister. The reality is that these blessings, weddings, funerals, etc. are extra work in our wee...

  A pastor is first and foremost human. We generally love to walk with people on their journeys; births, relationships, baptisms, illnesses, deaths. But just as these events happen in non-church situations they happen in the life of your pastor. They may happen directly to us, it may be to "our people" - friends, family, those who support/love/care for us.     Church members/parishioners try to be there for us. Some of them are really good about being there for their pastors. Sometimes they really get things and know when we need a break/to cry/to laugh/to go home/etc. But at the end of the day, the reality is that pastors rarely can be that vulnerable with their church members. Sometimes its considered a boundaries violation to share their personal life with their church members. Other times a pastor has to be concerned about if sharing any personal information will come back later to be used against them. I know this sounds bad and it's not something I believe that ch...

As a pastor, I get asked a lot of questions about a lot of things. Often times, folks ask me questions that I can't answer. It's not that I don't want to or that I don't have my personal opinions. It's that there are just some things that I can't give an answer too. It's those universal questions - why me, why did this happen, why now, why? I wish I could provide answers for folks because usually by the time someone comes to me asking these questions they're in a place of deep searching - a yearning for answers. Often times these questions are triggered by a major life event: divorce or break up of a significant relationship, death, major illness, violence, just to name a few. Please know that I ask these questions right along with you too. While I believe that God is in these situations, that doesn't mean I'm not hurt, upset, bothered, angered by these things. The latest funeral I performed was for a sweet member of my church. While they had hea...

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (...

Designated prayer person - as clergy in the Christian tradition there is the thought, maybe assumption by some, that we pray over every meal. For those of you who do that - great. I applaud you and your devotion. I, however, am not one of those people. I have developed a more flippant set of prayers that range from "yay God" to "please do not let this go straight to my hips, thighs and butt. Amen." I'm also a champion at the "not it" games of finger on the nose, thumbs on the edge of the table, etc to not be the last person caught not doing this therefore having to pray over a meal. It's not that I don't believe one should be thankful for food, hands who have prepared it and so on and so forth. It's just that I'm tired of being expected to recite rote prayers at meals. I get tired of having to remember who I'm with and where they are theologically and finding a balance of their belief system with mine. Trust me I really don't ...

Dating and being a minister. Have to say that those two words don’t seem to be blending very well. Telling someone what you do is not easy. You don’t want to lie but saying the actual words “I’m a minister” usually gets me 1 of 3 responses. 1 – oh you’re a minister, followed by the sounds of pitter patter as the person runs away. This response often comes from people who don’t believe that females have any roll in the church. Sometimes these people try to save me from my sins too. 2 – oh you’re a minister, followed by the person wanting confession or pastoral advice followed by the words I can’t date a pastor and some reason. While I’m all about helping others when I can, that’s not the reason why I’m dating. In all honesty I help people all day long (or I’d like to think that I do) and I don’t want that in a date. Us ministers would like to have a nice dinner and movie date too. 3 – the people who think that they can corrupt a minister. It starts out with trying to figure out if a fem...