The World's Okayist Pastor

Ferguson, MO is a hot bed of conversation right now. Last week, a youth was shot by police. The investigation into the situation is currently underway. Society is now polarized as being for the youth or for the police. Here is what I know - an investigation is still underway. Society and the media don't know every thing that happened. Patience and non-violence need to be demonstrated as we look for the truth and try to understand this situation before judgement is waged. My heart breaks for this situation. But I have to believe that we can look at the bigger picture. The fact is that the police in this community have a long history of being excessive in their force in dealing with the community. Many folks in this community have felt that the are lesser than others in the community. The fact is that police are trained to shoot at a critical mass (chest and head) area when forced to shoot at a suspect. Other countries train their police to shot when they feel their lives are endan

Next week is the yearly main fundraiser where I work. It's a yearly event that's been going on for a couple of years. At the beginning of the month the group in charge of planning met again to go over details. Plans were made, volunteers gathers and things were agreed upon. This past Sunday, 2 people (1 who was at this meeting and 1 who wasn't) decided to undo everything that was agreed upon. When I remind these folks that things were already decided upon by a group and people had a plan, they pretty much decided that they didn't care and were going ahead with their plans. This has become a fundraiser that has cost more than it's brought in because of these types of issues. They run off people, they're not welcoming and they can't make a commitment to follow a plan and micro-manage everything. I just have to believe that things don't need to be this complicated. I believe so often folks feel the need to try to gain some sense of control and power, that

Yesterday Flight MH 17 was shot down over Ukraine. I am saddened and heart sick that this is the level the world needs to go to in order to gain some fleeting feeling of control. I have, am and will continue to pray for those who died and are affected by this tragic event. But what makes me concerned is that from the moment that word hit "the wire" that there was a plane crash, the media was "breaking into" programs to broadcast images and tweets from Twitter about what may or may not have happened. It's not that I'm worried about the news bulletin that the crash happened. I'm most concerned that before any one knew what had happened speculation was being flung around as news. I'm concerned that we had to spend hours looking at the broadcast of black smoke. Folks died, people are mourning - how is this honoring those lives? How is this responsible reporting? A popular response to these concerns is "well turn off the TV." Guess what, I d

Today I sat with a family who's matriarch died in hospice care. As the family was gathered, I asked some questions about the matriarch's and the family's wishes about the memorial service. As I sat and attempted to work with this family I started to come up with a list of helpful things I think folks should consider before they get to this stage. I offer these as suggestions and not requirements. But having been a hospital chaplain and now a congregational pastor I'd recommend folks to look at these things. Grief touches people in different ways. It can bring out and the best and the worst - and I've literally seen fist fights break out. Although no amount of preparation takes away grief, it can help folks in the grieving process and make grief lessen. 1) Advance Directives/Living Wills/Medical Decisions. I have one, have for several years. These are legal documents you can have made that allow you to make decisions about how you wanted to be treated by medical pr

What follows below is a paper I wrote for a worship class on weddings from 2008. I'm happy to say that civil unions (same sex marriage) is now legal in 19 states, the federal government has agreed to recognize all civil unions and DOMA laws are now being legal challenged in all of the states that have not allowed same sex marriage.            As one stands in line at the grocery check out line, you will find at least one magazine devoted to marriage, specifically brides. There’s usually a picture of the happy bride, sometimes with the groom, with headlines such as how to have a grand wedding for only a grand and so on. Young children are encouraged to play out fantasies about getting married with dolls [1] . Marriage in the United States has become a vast marketing opportunity, which is a multi-million dollar a year industry. The Church has to rethink what is appropriate. The American Church has to find ways to bridge the function of the state and the meaning the Church has impo

I feel like a broken record when in church. I feel like my sermons, liturgy and prayers are basically the same thing over and over. I've tried journaling about it. I've tried writing out my sermon, I've tried using notes/outline. I've watched new movies and shows, went and met and talked with new people. I've prayed/meditated on this and I still feel like I'm repeating myself. So I'm going over past bulletins and prayers trying to see if I'm really repeating myself as much as I like I am. Themes that I've seen: love, unity, growth, inclusion, forgiveness, generosity, mission, welcome/welcoming, struggle. I've only been with this current congregation for about 3 full months now. No one has said anything to me and when asked no one says I'm repeating (makes me wonder who really is listening). I do get the standard "nice sermon pastor" so I don't think anyone is unhappy and I would have heard the rumor mill by now if anyone was (

Today I had lunch with 2 of my fellow clergy people in town. A complaint that I heard was that people in my generational range don't just accept theological concepts anymore (virgin birth, Jesus as fully human and fully divine, heaven vs. hell, etc). These 2 folks are older than I am but we all struggle with congregations that are dying rather than growing. I believe that this comment has more to do with the frustration clergy feel about each week seeing that the numbers aren't going up and the pews look more empty than ever than with my actual generation's view on theology. However this is an important comment to pay attention too. My generation today no longer has to rely on the educated few to impart theological information to the mass. You have a question or want to know why we say or do something, you are just 1 Google search away from having multiple sources available to you to find an answer. If you read more than 1 of the Google search results you may even find tha

Tonight is one of those nights were I find I'm feeling bipolar. I'm attempting to write out plans for my job - a visioning process for a congregation to try to piece together where it sees its future. While my head and heart want to be 100% focused on this, I'm distracted by the thoughts about the vision of my life. While I was into Mary Kay (full disclosure - love the products, still technically a consultant but ugh) they were big on making goal posters - really vision posters. Each year, at least, we were asked to make these posters for what we wanted to achieve and to focus us on the year to come. It could be prizes to earn, vacations, homes, cars, outfits, etc. While there is nothing wrong with vision and goal posters as I reflect on how I feel about the goal/vision poster in my brain it's a mixture of things. There's part of me that feels inadequate because I'm still single, not the mom I hoped to be and not living and being as independent as I wanted to

Today is the 1 year anniversary to me publishing my blog post “So I Don’t Fit – Literally.” It has been my most read and commented upon blog post. So I thought that it was time to revisit the topic and see if I had learned anything and/or if society had learned. I do not see society as having changed much. I am proud of my colleagues, who have published their own blogs and have taken on the issues of body image and even wrote a letter as a parent that went viral and even was on CNN. The conversation continues in America today about what beauty is and the standards we hold each other too. However, these prophetic voices are not enough to be a strong counter voice to a multi billion-dollar industry. I still am tempted to buy the very magazines that tell me I’m not pretty or fashionable because they have the money to be everywhere. What I do see as a step in the right direction is the willingness of more people to have this conversation about what is beautiful. Physically, since last ye

Below is my submission to the GLAD Alliance 2014 Easter Writing Project. They can be found on Facebook and on their website if you would like to sign up to get these reflections. Why Should the Church care about Marriage? Easter writing project 2014 The state of Iowa just celebrated 5 years of legalizing civil unions. It was a moment that I was very proud of. The ruling to legalize civil unions has stood countless vows from the opposition to over turn the law. As a pastor, I have had to answer the question multiple times of “will you perform those?” and “what if your congregation won’t allow it in the building?” My answer has always been “yes” and “if it can’t be in one location, I’m sure God will be at another.” For me, as a straight female, the issue of why the Church, universal, should care about marriage is because it’s an issue of marking a special time in one’s life and social justice. Historically, marriage has and continues to be a matter of the State. The Church added litur

My religious freedom in public, it's an interesting thing. Last week Kansas passed a law that allows business not to serve customers if it violates their religious freedom. This is heartbreaking news because if someone is or is not something that someone violates their religious belief (interracial marriage, LGBTQ in particular) a business can refuse services. I wonder who's religious freedom we're going to operate under? I mean I have various tattoos on my body that are expressions of my faith journey. What happens if a business owner in Kansas wants to state that tattoos are against their religious beliefs? Who's religious freedom is the winning hand? What if I choose to have a meal/coffee/go to a movie with a female friend? What if someone asks a questions about us - could we be lesbians? Could our possible lesbian appearance offend someone else's religious beliefs yet be something that's a fine to my sense of religion? Who's religious freedom rules the

I have been asked, several times and in several different contexts, why I am the way that I am. As much as I wish that the answer of "I am a combination of DNA, social norms and mores and life experiences and life lessons" was enough. And well that is the short answer, it is rarely enough to fully answer that question. But what I find that's just as important as the question is the reason that the question is asked. Is it because I do not fit stereotypes or preconceived notions of who another thinks I should be? Does this person really want to get to know me on a deeper level? Is it an interview question? I believe that there are multiple reasons for why I've been asked this question, some with good intent and others not so much. So why does this question matter? I think part of it is about trying to understand the unexplainable. But I have to wonder why the question needs to be asked. Why not let someone be who they are? Why not honor the person as they are, wher