Skip to main content

When can a non-parent parent?

So question to all of you parents out there: When is it okay for a non-parent person, me, step in and do some parenting? Let me give you an example: This past Friday night my mother and I were stopping at a store/restaurant to grab some dinner. We were at the end of the line and there was a couple that had three boys I'd say age 7 and younger that were running around getting into everything. The oldest two boys decided to run and jump at a lady, causing her to fall. This woman clearly had a medical diagnosis that limited her mobility. The boys did not say anything to the woman and went to playing in the cold display case. After helping the lady up and making sure she was okay my mother and I  looked to see if the parents were handling the situation. They were not, they were choosing to ignore their children's actions, who by this point were playing with glass drink bottles. Needless to say my mother and I had had enough and asked the two oldest boys to leave the drinks alone and to please find their parents. The boys looked at us  and we repeated ourselves. The boys left, of course said how mean we were to their parents and then enjoyed a dinner full of glares and finger pointing followed by "that's the lady who was mean to me." Let me also say that the parents nor the children never went to apologize to the lady who got knocked down. Did I over step my boundaries? I don't think I did because that was wrong of the boys. I believe it was wrong of the parents to 1) allow their children to run muck in the store and then 2) not make them apologize for knocking someone down and possibly causing major harm. The staff of the restaurant later thanked us for stepping in. I by chance ran into the lady who got knocked down and her husband two days later and they thanked me for my help and for redirecting the children. But is it so wrong to step in and do parenting when clearly it's not happening in a situation? Did I really deserve the glares and finger pointing? I don't think I did but then again I'm not a parent so I'm not sure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

2024 Wrap Up

 Happy New Year's Eve! 2024 is almost gone as I type this. And it's been ... a year. To whomever may be reading this know this: I'm glad you made it through 2024. You're you and you're here. That's enough. Whether you met your goal/goals or not, you survived. You're still breathing - even if it's hard to do sometimes. I'm proud of you. Keep going. Even if all you can manage is the next minute. Keep going.  Here is my updates and reflection on 2024. The biggest thing for me has been my move and new ministry in Wisconsin. I said goodbye to two lovely rural Nebraska churches in February and started my new ministry in Wisconsin March 1. It was funny that I was actually attending a UCCB meeting in Ohio when I officially met my new conference minister in person on March 1. God has a sense of humor. This past 9 months has been learning about the systems of the church and the community and trying to find my place. I haven't been perfect in this, but I...

Stories from Ministry - Things You Can't Make Up

Funerals can bring out the best or the worst in people/families. Here's a story from a funeral that I can't make up. Note that this story is not from my current ministry setting and names and identifying information has been changed. I was asked to officiate a funeral for a family that wasn't connected to a church but wanted a minister. I met with the family before the funeral and learned I was only meeting part of the family and that there was some sort of rift between the adult children. I made a mental note but the family seemed to be okay. Fast forward to the day of the funeral. I arrive half way through the visitation before the service and check in with the funeral home and family and things seem to be okay. It's clear that there's a divide between the children but folks seem to be staying on their respected sides and behaving. The service goes off well and the casket gets loaded into the hearse. Family members get in their vehicles and I get in the hearse wit...

Political vs. Partisan in Preaching

For years now, I have heard in preaching and clergy circles about being political in sermons; the good, the bad and those who state that church shouldn’t be political. There are workshops, books, and podcasts talking about politics in the church with a variety of opinions. What do people mean when they make the statement that the church shouldn’t be political? The IRS has the most say about the rules for the separation of church and state/politics. If your church wants to be tax exempt, there are rules: don’t endorse any candidate or party, if you allow one party to use your space, other political parties also must be allowed to use the space, etc. The UCC’s general counsel, Heather Kimmell, has a webinar on this topic if you’d like to hear a more detailed explanation which can be found on the UCC’s YouTube channel. Churches have gotten “creative” in how to get around this, often partnering with another non-profit group to give support to a particular group. The UCC is proud to claim...