Skip to main content

Taking a break

So I took several days off from writing here or in my personal life. I originally thought that it was because I didn't have anything to write about - that maybe I'd gone numb. Maybe things, for personal reasons, had become tainted. But upon further reflection the first is not true at all and the second is a half truth -  true as it was an avoidance technique. Truth is there's a lot going on but words don't fit it all. It's hard to explain other then there's a need to just feel and acknowledge the things in the world that are not tangible. Energy/Energies are all about us and impact us. We can choose to accept it or attempt to ignore or fight it. I couldn't name it, I couldn't say exactly what it was at first. It was something I felt - in the gut, the core of my being. It's not just one thing or person - it's several things. I know that it's a signal of something - something to come maybe, something from the past maybe. I'm not sure what all it means but I know there's more to come out of this.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Why the Minister has Fees

  As a minister I have the honor of performing rites and ceremonies for people at a variety of stages of life: baptisms, blessings, marriages, funerals, etc. I usually enjoy planning and leading these events. But lately I've had a rash of folks shocked that as a minister, I would have a fee to do some of these services. So lets talk about why I have fees.   To start with, if you are a member of my congregation you do get my services as a part of my contract with the congregation as long as they are spelled out in the contract. Generally if you're a member of the congregation I serve, it is expected that I will preform baptisms, blessings, funerals, weddings, etc for you because I want to remind you of God's continuous blessing in your life and especially at important moments in your life.   However some folks are shocked that there would be an honorarium suggested for the minister. The reality is that these blessings, weddings, funerals, etc. are extra work in our wee...

So I Don't Fit - Litterally

Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing  and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...

"And I Scream I'm Not Angry"

There's a Matchbox 20 song called "Angry." Part of the lyrics to the chorus are "and I scream that I'm not angry." It's a good song for when you're angry. But right now there is a burning furnace churning in my core and this song lyric does not fully capture my feelings. Maybe if I was going to sing/scream this in the privacy of my car it would be more along the lines of "and I scream that I'm not angry, I'm pissed as hell!!!" It has been a trying weekend. It is no longer good or healthy for me to be numb. It's time to fight is what comes out over and over again from my core. At the more "nicer" end of my spectrum of anger is just having a good old fashion temper tantrum - kicking, screaming and throwing myself in the floor. At the other end of my spectrum is me wanting to have my own "temple tantrum" similar to the one recorded in the Gospels - Jesus over turning the tables in the temple to make his point. ...