This weekend I returned to "my old Kentucky home" to officiate a friend's wedding. I've managed to see family and meet my two new 2nd cousins. I've seen other friends from various aspects of my life. I've been to the restaurants that scream Kentucky cooking like no others. I've stopped by my favoritee "head shop," and several other places that I'd considered my "happy places." But as I drove around Lexington, thinking I'd take pictures of the places I'd been I couldn't take the pictures. Seeing places I've lived, worked and studied at it hit me. I used to call Lexington home and would run to it. Lexington is no longer home. It is a place where I have friends and family. It is a place I can visit for a while but it's not home. It was home when I needed it to be home but I've changed and outgrown Lexington. The energy is gone from this city that once drew me here. It now repels me. It tells me that staying here would be a retreat to a person that does not honor who I truly am or want to be. So tomorrow I will pack up my car and leave, not sure if or when I'll return. I will be heading towards being the person I'm meant to be. So let it be I pray.
Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...
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