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I’m a Minister and I Don’t Correct People On My Sexuality

During the early part of the 2018 election cycle, one of my friends ran for an office. They had a results party at a gay bar in the closest big town. I have been to other events at this bar because it has hosted public events that match my call for social justice and public ministry. Afterwards, several people just assumed that because I knew this bar and was comfortable being there, that I identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. Not that it’s anyone’s business, but I don’t. I identify as a cisgender, white female who is an ally to the LGBTQ+ community. So at best I am a welcomed outsider but I am an outsider to this community.

Once people got to know me better, folks started to apologize to me for labeling as part of the LGBTQ+ community.  My response was it wasn’t a big deal to me and I don’t really care that I was labeled as such. Some people accepted this but others seemed taken aback because I didn’t have a strong response of concern about being mis-labeled. 

As I watch, listen and support the humans around me who are a part of the wonderful, beautiful and diverse community that is the LGBTQ+ community, I see them struggle to figure out what words fit them and then see how those words are used to hurt, discriminate and further perpetuate the us versus them polarization that continues. I see how a word is used as a weapon by society and most of the institutions humanity has created. I see how finding a group of people is an act of resistance and an act of embracing self. 

Because of these things and so much more, I will never be offended to be labeled as part of the LGBTQ+ community. I may or may not correct you about it. I may even ask you why you feel the need to know because that’s really not most people’s concern. But I will never feel less than or offended because someone assumes I’m part of a great group of humanity. It doesn’t hurt my womanhood, or personhood. 

So maybe if you’re a person who gets upset when you’re mislabeled as part of the LGBTQ+ community, you need to ask yourself what is causing you to react this way? Why does it hurt you? How tightly are you, we as society, holding onto terms and labels when we probably have better things to be doing besides trying to label everyone?
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