As I sit/lay here under a young tree, the branches catch my attention. What to some may look like the branches are dying - the bark is covered in fungus/mold, pealing away, not many leaves or branches on it - is in fact alive. New, bright green leaves reaching out, starting over for that branch and that tree shoot out at the end. Against the blue sky above it this tree and branch makes me think about new life coming out of the old. A new part of the tree rising up and enjoying the warmth of the sun and the breeze of the day. Soaking in the greatness of just being a new creation. I want to be that tree branch. I want to just be but I don't know how. How do I be? How do I let the old die as needed and learn to let the new grow? I'm jealous of this tree, it seems to have this all figured out - this secret that I can't understand. I want this tree to teach me... no to just tell me and maybe even do for me. I'm jealous that I can't just change my nature to be tree instead of human. Oh tree how I wish it was so simple to be you. But then again maybe its not so simple to be you. Maybe this sun and wind hurt you. Maybe the parts that are dying hurt you or make it hard for you to become new. I guess you and I have more in common then I thought. Maybe your jealous of me and my freedom to move from my spot. Oh tree you show me many things but what do you see in me? What do you learn from me? Maybe we're not so different in our stuff. Maybe we're the same in more ways then I thought.
Last night I had dinner at a restaurant I eat at at least twice a month. Usually I'm in a group but I was by myself. It's not often that I have time by myself right now so I welcomed the time to sit and eat food someone else cooked. I sat in the booth by myself and kept to myself. I had a book with me and my palm labyrinth so I was entertained and felt like it would be a productive time to self and with my self. But the comments from the trio of ladies across from me was anything less then pleasant. Now if you don't know me let me be clear, I am a big lady. I believe the clinical definition of my size would be morbidly obese. I am aware that I take up more physical space then I should. I don't fit into every booth in a restaurant. Believe it or not I do own a mirror and do use it even though I don't enjoy it. I am also aware that I am my size by my own doing and no one else's. I do not expect the world to accommodate me for being this way. If you want me to p...

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